Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Mr Scorpio

So Mr Listener has been a bit of a Scorpion again lately. Moody and such. Maybe I should call him Mr Scorpio. I knew my Sagittarian self would have issues with his Scorpion self. It is best to distance my sensitive soul at such moments, and I have. But he still calls me, still asks me about my day, still expresses concern for things, so I can't completely shut off. For all his moodiness, he's still a really geniune guy.

A day ago, out of the blue, he asked me if I ever considered the idea of being his roommate in his house.

Which word did you stumble over?

For me, it was r-o-o-m-m-a-t-e.

Um yeah, no.

Thanks, but no.

Not going to share space with someone I'm not in a couple's relationship with. to which he said, "Hmmm, ok. Well, keep it in mind." And then he went on about putting his ad in the newspaper.

But I find his pondering of this situation odd and interesting, because he's got such a problem with the pet hair (to which he said he'd just keep his bedroom door closed). And his yard doesn't have a fence (to which he said he'd be willing to help me put one up).

I think the man doesn't think things through as much as I would. He's never seen Duncan get into one of his moods and sit on top of the refrigerator to survey his land below. He's never seen Chad in a thunderstorm. He's never...did I mention we've only known each other a little more than 2 months? Do you really ask someone you don't know that well to consider moving in with you? I guess you do, when you're desperate for help to pay the mortgage. I was forced to do that once too, and I'll never forgive myself for it. Totally ruined my farm life.

Anyway, combine those odd thoughts with with the weather, the fact that the rescue dog STILL cannot stop scratching herself (3 months and MANY products and options later), and the rumors flying around work that there will be a department reorg in October, and I'm just plum tuckered out.

The other day I was standing at the copier machine and a co-worker came up and asked me how things were going. I looked at him and without batting an eyelash I said, "Well, to be honest, I miss when the most difficult task I had for the day was loading 250 bales of hay into the hayloft of the barn."

It's funny. I'm sure at the time, I wasn't stacking that hay with a grin on my face. But there was such a sense of accomplishment with a well-stocked, well-cleaned barn that just does not exist in conglomerate corporate megaworld where you can't even get an answer to a simple charity matching fund question.

But I can't complain too much, because I don't think my body is capable of doing that hard work anymore. 22 stalls, all cleaned by myself? Regardless of the weather. I've gone so soft, I wouldn't even make it through 10 stalls.

But today, I really feel trapped. Trapped into the salary I'm getting, the place I'm living, and the near future that looms ahead. I'm sure it'll pass. Or sink back down to the depths of my soul, but I know this is coming out because of the book I'm reading. The author says "If you're not doing something you love, you're sabotaging yourself for pain and unhappiness and....weight gain."

Ohh boy, don't ya just love self-awareness? Hit it Bruce...


Wednesday, May 6
Life Fitness Treadmill
Standing heart rate: 96 (what was that about?)
AVERAGE heart rate: 134
Max heart rate: 151
Workout mode: RANDOM, level 14 @ 2.8/3.0 mph
Calories: 715 Distance: 2.81 Time: 65:00

Note: Felt great to go back to my old workout version, even though I couldn't get my average heart rate up to 145. It is supposed to be good to vary the routine.


Willow said...

Roomate? Ack. Glad you said no. If his legs break your concentration at the gym, how would living with him affect you? Trainwreck. Keep your focus on you.

As for the career, remember to find something in your day that fulfills your spirit, even if you can't leave just yet. Do something that is a part of pursuing your true happiness. Just like weight loss, we can't make it happen all at once, but we can constantly do small things that get us there. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

As for your resting heatrate, keep an eye on it. Sometimes when our bodies are overworked at the gym, and or metabolism slows down and thats what happens. Try varying up the routine a bit (like you did) Slow it down for a bit, make your workouts easier (slower walking) etc. Just for a week or so. Have you listened to Jillian Michaels podcasts? She talked about this in April. You can download all of her podcasts on the KFI AM 160 website. Tons of great info there!
Have a GREAT day!

Soxy Deb said...

Wow. I would like to say its WAY too early in the relationship to be having a moving in discussion, but I got engaged to be married after 3 months. So I'm not a good barometer for such things. lol.

Stick with whatever your first initial gut reaction was. Don't do it.
Everything else will iron itself out in one way or another. It always (usually-lol) does.

Great workout. I was on the couch...well, you know what I was doing.

Sarah said...

Roommates? Really? What's going on in that little brain of his? Is it really about money? He obviously likes being around you, but living together is a whole other ball game (did you see how I added a baseball reference just for you?? Cuz I love ya!). Maybe he's afraid he's going to lose you and this would keep you close.

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.