Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Dreamfields & Miracle Noodles

total lost: 30 lbs
total days: 66

Finally down another pound. I am struggling with this muscle pain in my back and shoulder, just makes it impossible to do anything so my energy output is very low. But I must listen to my body and let it heal, not push it.

Wanted to review the two "pasta" products that have entered my life. They're very different and I can see incorporating both of them into this new eating lifestyle.

Dreamfield's Pasta (I had the rotini.)

Taste: FANTASTIC! There is no funky aftertaste either.
Facts: Their big claim is that you're only consuming 5 grams of digestible carbs, the glycemic index is 13, and you're getting 5 grams of fiber. There's no doubt about it, this pasta is much better for you than the traditional pasta. However, I must caution: 1. This isn't on the Kimkins diet. 2. You're consuming 190 cals for 2 oz (2/3 cup), and 3. There are 42 grams of total carbs.
In the end: If you need a "pasta fix" once a month, consider this product. Remember that whatever sauce you add to it will increase your cals, etc. Also, limit yourself to one cooked cup.
Tagline: Even the Italian BF cook thought the pasta was very good and trust me he's picky.

MiracleNoodles (I had the angel hair.)

Taste: Well, it really doesn't have a taste at all. That's the good part. Think like rice noodles. They absorb whatever flavors you add them to. However, they MUST be washed thoroughly.
Facts: Naturally water soluble fiber with no fat, sugar, or starch. * contain zero net carbohydrates and zero calories no gluten - noodles are made of a healthy natural fiber called Glucomannan, water, and a calcium additive, that's it. * wheat & gluten free. Basically, this is noodles made from yams. No cooking needed either, just add them in at the end and warm them.
In the end: You're definitely not going to hurt your diet with these. If anything, the fiber should help keep you regulated. This will not satisfy any Italian pasta craving. However, it is the perfect replacement for any rice or rice noodle dish you may have been missing. Think Asian stirfry for example or any type of lo mein. If you've been missing a savory Chinese takeout dish, you could probably come close to recreating it yourself with some soy sauce etc.
Tagline: Want that full feeling with no carbs and no cals added? Try these.

Monday, August 27, 2007

No Loss, No Gain

total lost: 29 lbs
total days: uncertain

Not much to say. No loss in a long time. Feeling very blue due to a pain in my lower back and another in my right shoulder. The right shoulder pain is a trigger point knot in the muscle behind the blade. It'll get worked out in 3 massage sessions. The lower back pain...well, time will tell. If it is connected to the trigger point pain, then it'll go away too. If not, I have to consider that it may be something serious. I'm thinking positive.

In the meantime, this has me pretty much unable to do most active things. Even sweeping is difficult and walking Chad is nearly impossible, though I do it on my left side but not a long walk because all I need is for my left side to start hurting too.

I've lost some faith in losing quickly enough for the end of October. With a stall that lasts a week, how will I possibly lose another 30 lbs. Oh well. Sometimes this shit just happens.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Next 30 lbs

Just have to vent...

My mother just can't understand this. I told her how much I'd lost in two months and all she could say was "Oh that's too much too soon. Do you really think that's wise?" Like she's some expert? Absolutely not, she is a constant Chicken Little worrying type. Heaven forbid that anything goes well. And I really felt like she burst my bubble. I held my own, I told her "Do you really think it was wise for me gain 40 lbs in the last year?" That made her quiet. Of course, no one knew that. You don't count the pounds on the way up. We don't sit there and say "Yup, up another pound, how great." But I felt lousy after talking to her.

At least I do have Lenny's observant "You're looking great hon, I really see a difference" comments and warmth through this. For all his flaws, he has always been very supportive of my self esteem. He knows how hard it is for me to deal with my mother's negativity. I think he knows because his ex-wife was like that with their son. Very manipulative.

I know it is going to take another 30 lbs before the loss is really visible. I have a wedding at the end of October to attend. That's my next social engagement goal to reach. So I just keep repeating to myself: 12 lbs more until haircut, 30 lbs more until buying a new dress for the wedding.

And the big question...am I going alone or will Lenny come with me? Who knows. We'll see.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

To Live This Life

What do you want?
To go on or to give up?
To go the distance or call it a day?
Aim high, pack it in,
Open up, close down.
Live this life
or wait for death.
Stand up or walk out.
Tell me
What do you want?
How could it be better, my brother?
What would make it sweeter, my sister?
What do you need,
My mother,
my lover,
my soul,
What will it take
To find the love
To live this life?

Thursday, August 16, 2007

2 Months Basic Stats Update

total lost: 29 lbs
total days: 60

Yes, it's been 60 days. Things have definitely slowed down but there's still movement toward that land called "Virgin Fat Zone." That's a weight you've never seen before except on the way UP the scale. For me that would be about xxx lbs.

Measurements on Day 60:
bicep - 14 inches (3 inches lost)
neck - 15 1/2 inches (same)
bust - 48 inches (4 inches lost)
waist - 47 inches (4 inches lost)
hips - 57 inches (3 inches lost)
thigh - 28 inches (2 inches lost)
60 days = 16 inches lost

Tell her what she's won Bob!

She's won a renewed sense of energy with a hopeful outlook for the future. She's also won a dramatically lower chance of heart problems and cancer, in addition to being better able to cope with all the possible inheritance of her mother's ailments. Isn't she a lucky one?!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Love my friends, but not with food

total lost: 28 lbs
total days: 59

Well, I had a very enjoyable weekend with my friend Sweden visiting. I did indulge in some carbs. I managed to skip the potatoes (no small feat for me) on Saturday, but I could not resist her urging to share a dessert (brownie and ice cream and fudge) nor could I resist the margarita. Does that make me an alcoholic as well as a starchaholic? I don't know. On Sunday I went even further into the depths of carbohydrates when we went to Holsten's, the now legendary ice cream parlor at the end of the Sopranos. Grilled cheese, fries, onion rings. I had them all. And a small ice cream sundae. I enjoyed every minute of eating it all. But I really fell into a slump, a lethargic slump. I didn't want to do anything, I got a massive headache, and I felt like I couldn't move. Walk around the lake? Are you kidding me? I couldn't get out of bed. I'm not sure this is 100% due to the carb and fat intake, but it had to have something to do with it.

So I was going to wait an entire week to weigh, but this morning I couldn't pass by the scale without it seeming to taunt me. So I got it over with. OK, so no loss. Tomorrow is 2 months on the program. 28 lbs is not bad for having fallen off twice now. I don't want to limit my social life, my enjoyment of friends and family because of food. That just doesn't seem right! I think the balance lies in moderation. The question is can an addict find moderation? I'm not so sure they can, because the very nature of an addict is that they cannot find middle ground. And so the battle continues.

Love is the answer to the question How...

Friday, August 10, 2007

Am I broken and can I be fixed?

total lost: 28 lbs
total days: 54

Well, am I?

Am I broken?

Can I be fixed?

Look at that loss, isn't it fantastic? Almost 2 months, almost 30 lbs.

So what's wrong?

*blue sigh*

The heart is willing, but the brain is still working this out. I can't seem to handle the trigger stress about money without reaching for the comfort of food.

Yesterday I got hit with news that my landlord wanted to raise my rent, after being told a month previously that the lease would be renewed as is. So needless to say, I was confused, upset, and trying to calculate how I could afford an increase when my cost of living expenses have skyrocketed and my salary has dropped. Anyway, the issue has ended up with a loophole because he missed the timeframe to offer me new terms on a renewed lease so I get another year at the same rate. But I didn't know that this morning. I thought I was going to have to move this morning.

Anyway, last night I was OK. There isn't anything in the house for me to go wild on, unless I eat 10 fat free fudgicles in a row, but even then it isn't like ordering an entire pizza or something. But this morning, I had to drive down Temptation Road and when I saw Calandria's coming up, I just knew I was pulling in there. Yup, one loaf (at least I went small) of semolina bread.

The smell nearly made me drool. And the taste was incredible. And now all day I am thinking about this. Why did I do it? Why couldn't I have resisted? And what's the big deal? It was just a small loaf of bread, like tiny pieces of melba toast, but extremely fresh.

The big deal is that if I cannot control my impulses, how am I going to keep myself for the rest of my life at 160? How am I going to maintain when life hits me with a wild pitch?

I need a way to handle the stress differently. I should have exercised, yes. But it was pouring rain and I do mean heavy rain, not the wimpy drizzle. I should have.....what?

What should I have done to avoid that moment in the car? Called someone? My emergency diet police. That's still a temporary fix. What's the long-term answer?

Any suggestions?

Time will tell.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

What do you eat?

Several people have asked me, "So, what exactly do you eat?"

So here's my simple week of food. It isn't exciting, and it isn't too varied, but it suits me. Usually I cook all my meals on Sunday and then portion them out for the week. This really helps me.

I have the chocolate whey protein shake powder. I tend to make that in the morning now and drink it on the drive to work. I add 1/4 teaspoon liquid flavored splenda to sweeten it just a bit. I also add 1 heaping teaspoon of L-Glutamine which is amino acid.

Lean ground turkey breast (not just ground turkey) mixed in with old el paso (less sodium than the other brands) taco flavoring packet, sauteed sweet Italian peppers and onions. Sometimes I add one tablespoon of reduced fat Mexican blend shredded cheese.


Grilled chicken breast or chicken cutlet (thinner sliced breast), sauteed peppers and onions. Sometimes I add a tablespoon of nonfat greek style plain yogurt mixed with a bit of minced garlic. This reminds me of the fabulous Turkish food I used to eat when I was married. It is good to re-establish good memories with healthy food.

Usually, whichever one I haven't had for lunch, I'll have for dinner.

If I have the ground turkey for dinner, then I will also make egg white tortillas, which is one of the best surprises I've come across since starting this low fat, low carb eating style. You use about 1/2 cup of liquid egg whites and let it harden on the pan until you can flip it over and brown the other side. It takes a little practice, but it really holds up as a sturdy alternative to tortilla wraps. I fill the ground turkey, add a bit of plain yogurt, sprinkle some reduced fat cheese, roll it up and place it in the toaster oven for a few minutes.

I try to alternate every two weeks or so on what the main protein is for the week.

Some variations:
lean turkey cutlets
ground buffalo
lean turkey sausage
omelets, scrambled eggs, or egg "souffles" (whole eggs plus egg whites)
steak (once a month treat)

I will also throw in a salad of mixed greens once in awhile but usually only while I'm at the work cafeteria and I bring my own walden farm dressings. I also allow myself one meal per week that I don't plan, just to try to "train" myself into thinking about making healthier choices while at a restaurant or among other people. This is perhaps the toughest part and I admit I did have a veggie sandwich on ciabatta bread, but I refused the chips that came with it. So I am learning.

Snacks or Desperate Moments
I have tried the low carb tortilla wraps. They're a bit chewy and instead of using them for burritos, I much prefer to save them for a crisis moment when I need to have a "pizza" in which case I'll put some tomato paste (not sauce) and some cheese and maybe some turkey bacon on top and bake it for a few minutes. Limit to rare once a month.

Pre-cooked shrimp, wrapped with turkey bacon and grilled. Twice a month or so.

Two tablespoons of fat free coolwhip, mixed with one Dannon carbsmart/sugar control blueberry & cream or strawberry & cream yogurt. Toss in a tablespoon of shaved almonds. Frozen, this stuff tastes very close to soft serve ice cream and has saved me many a time from caving in and going to the homemade stand down the road. Once a week during summer.

Fat free Popsicle brand Fudgicle. Pretty harmless.

And finally, for that PMS moment when I want to really do some damage to myself, I turn for one of these chocolate cups and I split the portion over 48-72 hours. In other words, take one cup and divide it 4 ways. It really hits the spot, especially the dark chocolate goodness. Again, once a month, not once a week.

As I said, I'm drinking the tea for kidney function. Other than that, water is my best friend. There is a calculation of how much water a person should drink, and I am at about one gallon a day. It depends upon your activity level, your weight, and whether or not you're purposely trying to lose weight. I really feel a difference. Is there such a thing as drinking too much water? Yes. However, as I can barely drink one gallon, I find it impossible to imagine someone could drink 15 liters (a little less than 4 gallons) without realizing they're harming themselves.

That's it really. Moderation is the key.

No more entire pints of ice cream. No more entire bags of pretzels. No more two large french fries with cheese. No more bagels, french toast, or pancakes. Not right now. Now is the time to lose what eating all of that has caused me to gain. I know in the future once I've lost the remaining 111 lbs I will choose to live a life that has very little refined carbs. White rice, potatoes, bread, pasta. The very things I used to live on day in and day out, I will have to save as "once-a-week" treats along with a very consistent exercise program. I hope to be riding horses, skiing, bike riding, swimming, and any other activity that might interest me at that time.

More Digestive Talk

total lost: 26 lbs
total days: 49

Sorry for the continued topic but it is of great importance. Without proper digestion, we might as well just give up the fight. Yes, I am down 2 lbs in 2 days and that is fantastic in light of the time of the month. However, digestively speaking, I just don't feel 100% well.

Here is the product suggested by the massage nutritionist: Ω-Zyme™ ULTRA

I'm not jumping all over it because I don't know how much it costs. The store it indicates is near me has a huge markup on their products and their products don't exactly fly off the shelf and always seem a little dusty to me. I also don't like that it has cellulose and maladextrin in it. There are SO many enzyme products out there, that I think it pays to hunt around. Am I concerned about how many carbs or sugars it'll add? Yes but not to a large extent. I mean if it is helping with digestion, that is all that would matter to me. If it increases the carbs a little, it might slow down the loss process but not that much. I still think the loss I've accomplished is fantastic FOR ME. Others are losing faster, but I don't care about others. I just care about my own health first and foremost. This isn't a competition between anyone besides me and the FAT monster that has been weighing on my bones all these years.

The product I think I will try first is this one: Biozyme 102 Enzyme Powder. I admit, the powder form of it doesn't thrill me, but I like the idea of it getting into the system right away, and I like the idea that it doesn't contain any extra garbage, and I can order it online. Yes we have to be educated consumers about what we're purchasing, but in the end one person's opinion is just one person's opinion.

And my opinion at this point is that enemas are a good emergency remedy, but for long-term digestion assistance, I've got to find a supplement! Oh come on, laugh with me! LAUGH!

Friday, August 3, 2007

Dietary Enzymes & BioDynamic Tea

total lost: 24 lbs
total days: 47

Well, I am finally unstuck and feeling better than I did all week as I head into PMSland. After 5 days stalled, and a nasty side effect that went along with it, I am down one pound and feeling some relief in my system as well.

My massage therapist who is a nutritionist (and happens to believe that we shouldn't eat dead animals but anyway...not the point here). He said that if I am eating a lot of high protein, my body is going to have trouble digesting it. He recommended adding a dietary enzyme (that is just an example and not an endorsement) to my intake of vitamins and supplements. He said this would help more nutrients of what I am eating to be absorbed into the body, relieve bathroom issues and would allow the weight loss to continue to be steady. He said is it not a "Fat blocker" or any of that diet BS. It is a supplement to what the body produces already. He did not recommend the WOE that I've chosen to lose this weight. He said it is quick loss but hard not to regain. I said no, it won't be hard to maintain weight level. While I appreciate his concern, he doesn't know me. He doesn't know this is my 2nd trip down the scale. He doesn't know that I couldn't possible live on beans and brown rice as he suggested. Having said that, I am looking into the dietary enzyme, because I definitely don't want the issues I experienced this week to continue. From what I've read so far about enzymes, it sounds like everyone should add them to their eating plan because as we get older, our body doesn't produce as many.

And I think it is fair to say that losing almost all fiber and fat in one's diet is not always the best thing. I think having a day of veggies to help with the fiber aspect isn't a bad idea. So be careful, and consider a fish oil supplement if not also a fiber supplement.

Also, I have consulted with a tea expert. I explained that I wanted to remove toxins from my system and help my kidneys function well. She suggested Makaibari Green tea as it is a biodynamic tea and I will be buying some today.

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.