Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Move It, Move It

Pounds lost: 7 lbs
Pounds to go: 44 lbs

Well, I never thought I would say this...

I joined a workout gym!

Yes. People who know me are falling over in shock right now. This is a HUGE step for me. I cannot STAND to think that anyone is looking at me while I'm exercising. In my mind they're all looking at the fat jiggling around.

However, I am giving this fear up because if I do not, I'm afraid my April goal with not be accomplished. As you can see, my three days of protein shakes have not yielded any extra weight loss over three days of straight low carb, low fat eating. I am pretty sure that the 1 lb lost would have been lost either way. This minor unscientific experiment tells me that I have probably hit the 30-40 lb loss plateau. I need to start expending more energy than I am consuming. And since I cannot possibly eat less than I am, that means I have to start movin' and shakin' it!

Can someone cue up the funky music from the end of the movie Madagascar please? Ah yes, (see below on the site) here we go, "I like to move it, move it...."

So.....I joined Anytime Fitness and while their web site is cheesy and amateur at best, the location near me is very clean, very NON-bally, NON-curve, very basic in terms of equipment, and friendly for a bunch of Jersey folks. I was stunned. And the real kicker of it all is the access is 24/7 and the price is less than any other fitness place around that I checked out. $35.00/month. How can that be beat? That's slightly more than $1/day. TVs in all the cardio machines. Less than 5 miles from my house.

I really had no excuse. And believe me, I came up with many attempts. I felt my inner ego kicking and screaming as I forced myself to walk thru those doors.

I think in my nervousness standing there, during the tour and looking at the machines and watching people work out that I probably burned 100 cals just with my heart racing. I must admit, I am not going there to make friends; I am going there to achieve a goal. I'm sorry if that sounds anti-social. However, if anyone wants to be nice to me, I wouldn't mind it. I could use a few Jersey acquaintances.

And to those of you who support me the best you can from across the miles, thank you so much. Much love. Don't give up on me; I'm firing up the second burner and I'm going to blast this fat off me!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Good News Down

Pounds lost: 6 lbs
Pounds to go: 45 lbs

Alright! A 3 lb loss. I will take it! I'm going to do 3 days of protein shakes only. Monday / Tuesday / Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Take the female hormones and...

Pounds lost: 3 lbs
Pounds to go: 48 lbs

...throw them out the window! UGH! It kills me to put those numbers up higher than they were last post. Dammit! Curse being a female. Every three weeks, my body decides to hold on to weight and even gain!? Whose idea was this period thing anyway? I'm not going to have children....let's just get it over with already. *grumble*

I am having a hard time with stress. Stress and loneliness are making me want to eat carbs. What is the comfort there...why does a fuller stomach push the bad stuff away for a little while for me? What is the connection and how do I break it.

Keep active. Yes. Keep active. I hear the voice in my head. UGH! How? I'm so tired from work, all I want to do is sleep. I'm taking a multivitamin, iron supplements, and I'm meditating to try to maintain a level of sanity. I can't walk, it is too damn cold right now. Excuse? Well I don't see you walking 2 miles around a lake in January. Join a gym. Yeah, right. Like I can afford that. And if I did pay, would I actually go and lift weights in front of other people? Talk about anxiety level. Cringe.

I'm going to look into doing an all whey protein shake week; maybe it'll kick start me back in the right direction.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Some Success

Pounds lost: 5 lbs
Pounds to go: 46 lbs

Yay! Another pound down.

All I can say to myself and anyone else is:

W A T E R !
W A T E R !
W A T E R !
W A T E R !
W A T E R !
W A T E R !
W A T E R !
W A T E R !
W A T E R !

Drink it up!

Statistically speaking, I am 11% toward my goal! Tadadadada da dadadada!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Lonely Road

Pounds lost: 4 lbs
Pounds to go: 47 lbs

Well, I'm back down to where I was last Friday. I just don't feel enthusiastic about it.

I'm lonely. That's true enough. You would think that loneliness would bring about motivation to end the loneliness, not prolong it. I feel lonely and suddenly it feels like Ben & Jerry are my only friends. But I know for a fact that my weight loss will bring about a better sense of self and a better reaction from other people to me. I will not be lonely once I feel better about myself. And I can only feel better about myself if I lose this weight. This is phase 2. I must remember that. I survived phase 1.

I'm going to think in small numbers. Maybe that will help. Ten more pounds. Ten more pounds is going to rock! Ten more pounds might require me to buy new pants because mine are falling down already. And maybe a new pair of jeans.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Paying for My Weekend Fun

Pounds lost: 2 lbs
Pounds to go: 49 lbs

This is what happens when you mix some vodka with some rice, pita bread, doritos, pancakes, and ice cream with a TOM (time-of-month) over a 2-day period. Four days later, you still have a 2 lb gain. Let's all groan collectively now.

And I cannot blame this on anyone but myself. Yes, I was in some great company of friends but I was completely conscious of the choices I was making. There was no mindless eating here. And I don't need anyone telling me, "Are you sure you should eat that," because that will only make me want to eat it more.

I have been back on track all week, and I can only hope that my efforts come forth to bring me back down within another 2 days.

New inspiration, is my sweet Sena literally watching out for me on my back. I honestly feel a lifting of pain from within me. Here's one of the best photos:

Saturday, January 5, 2008

The Comfort & The Hazard

Pounds lost: 4 lbs
Pounds to go: 47 lbs

Wow. As usual, I am always surprised by what happens when I apply effort to my weight loss. I know it is all within my control, but it is perhaps the hardest thing to remember when everything else feels out of my control in life.

Food is certainly the one constant, the one reliable element. Friends have their own lives, work is work, but food is both the comfort and the hazard. At the end of the day, it is like a co-dependent relationship I must keep in check. Food will stick to me, because it has no ability not to do so. Sorry food, I have to be the responsible one here.

On that note, I don't know if it is a good or bad thing, but I have fallen head over heels for a particular tea. In the past, I've spoken about the cleansing green tea, but this is purely for taste. It is Coconut Vanilla black tea. Absolute heaven. I feel like a cup is so delicious it tastes like dessert. And while I am sure the caffeine is not the greatest thing, if it keeps me from wanting chocolate chip cookies, then I'll keep the trade-off!

Friday, January 4, 2008

Three pounds down, good week!

Pounds lost: 3 lbs
Pounds to go: 48 lbs

Every pound counts! I wish I had thought of THAT on the way UP the scale!

I had a hard time last night because I went out to eat. Mexican. I ordered the fajitas because I figured I could do that....just ignore (is that possible?) the wraps. Well, I actually had to ask them to take the wraps away, and then I felt like I'd drawn attention to myself and then I felt SO self-conscious that I couldn't really enjoy the food. Honestly, is it always going to be something with me and food? From the moment I can first remember, food has been a problem. Blah!

PMS is raging, yet no result....my energy may be causing it to be late. No, no worries, I'm not preggers. Everybody breathe!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Good Lookin' Cookin'

Pounds lost: 2 lbs
Pounds to go: 49 lbs

First of all, Blogger lost my entire saved post this morning, so this will be short. Ugh!

No loss this morning and no surprise. PMSing and only starting the plan full blown today. Had my last Coldstone ice cream shake yesterday and it tasted good but didn't last very long. My weight loss and feeling good will last longer!

I am aiming for a 3 lb loss this week so by next Monday that's what I hope to see.

I cooked yesterday for the next 5 days. Odd that today is Wednesday. My food for the week will basically consist of:

extra lean ground turkey breast (not just ground turkey, that has more fat) with taco seasoning
italian sweet peppers and sweet onions steamed together
egg whites
turkey bacon
carb and sugar control yogurt smoothies
chocolate whey protein powder with fat free milk (12 carbs per 8 ounces)

There is no fruit on this menu and thank god for that because I really can't stand it. If I am ever hungry, I am supposed to eat more protein, but I never felt hungry when I started this in June. It is just important to go thru the "carb withdrawal" the first few days.

I know it doesn't seem like much food but it is and I have cooked it all ahead of time because I need to remove my thinking about food. That is key for me. Again, this becomes about what works for the person, not some prescribed program designed for someone else. When thinking about food is removed for me, I am then free to focus on other things, like meditating and exercise. Good thing I have Chad for that part. We'll be taking a long walk when I get home from my frustrating desk job.

Well here we go off on a Wednesday that feels like a PMS Monday. Look out world, I'm going to be one hell of a badass today.

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.