Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Sunday, March 30, 2008

New TLC Show

I do not know a thing about this show, but I'm going to be recording it and watching.

I Can Make You Thin

Considering I ate a bowl of popcorn for dinner, I will take all the advice I can get.

Friday, March 28, 2008

I Hate Myself for Loving You

"I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free
from the things that you do.
I wanna walk
but I run back to you.
I hate myself for loving you."

Thanks so much for singing it so clearly, Joan Jett.

I have been having a love affair with food. Instead of loving myself.

Right now, I love food more than I love myself.

Seriously. That's messed up.

2 weeks to Bermuda.

The temperature here today is 45 F with 83% humidity. And rain.

The temperature in Bermuda today is 65 F with 82% humidity. And rain.

Hmm. Hope two weeks from now is better. I think my niece is there right now. Hugs!

I can hear Gym calling my name...I should go see how Gym is. Maybe just peek in the window while the scent of Dunkin Donuts wafts beneath my nose.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Serious Carb Addiction

I went carb binging. Total consumption of carbs. Fries, shakes, pizza, rice, cookies. What a beautiful tasty mistake it was. It quelled the loneliness I felt, it really did. Briefly. Just like a drug addict's high. And now I face a week of trying to get myself back on no carbs, which is probably more difficult than anything else. Once again, I'm considering the hypnosis route, at $250-500 for 3 sessions. Oh it's only money. What I wouldn't give to not be held a prisoner to my emotions and my love for food. Anyone want to donate? I have a paypal account set up. Seriously.

Not sure exactly what sent me on my carb loading few days. Was it the bathing suits (two arrived with Fugly results, three more to come), the stress of work, the radio in my new vehicle dying, the lack of sex, the idea of spring (I do so love winter), or just my breaking point? And who measures one's torso? And when your torso is OFF the charts for bathing suits, what do you do then?

Feel so miserable, must get myself back to the gym after more than a week away. Hate gym, my once magical haven. Lacking all motivation to change myself right now. I guess I will just wallow here until I find it. Move on to the next blog people, there's nothing to see here.

Addicts, we always think everything is about us.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Struggling Again

April 10th goal: 246 lbs
Total lost since June 2006: 36 lbs

What a struggle. Unable to stay focused. Unable to exercise due to some physical pain. And allowing myself to be pulled off course by outside forces. I had to scrap the other goal as I am now 38 days away from vacation. Revise and rework, a constant theme in my life. Oh well.

Last Sunday I made a conscious choice to overeat. I wanted to feel the fullness in my stomach, because it was concrete and the problems I was dealing were so out of my actual control as well as intangible. I did try to resolve my feelings by not eating. It didn't work. Still, it was only one day.

Bruce was incredible. More energy than I have ever had. Up on that stage doing what he loves. If that isn't an inspiration....

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.