I'm quite annoyed. Haven't lost a bloody bleeping ounce. And I've been working my ass off. The good thing is that I now firmly have that "I've got to get to the gym" feeling again. I do not want to lose that for anything.
However it seems I was losing more weight with less exercise and less intake of food, despite the urgings of everyone that I not "starve" myself. First off, I've never felt hungry. Secondly, these last few days, I've felt something close to toxic bloat. I'm thinking of going back to the bare bones approach and letting my body tell me when it is hungry.
Oh and....here we go with last night's email exchange with PT guy:
Me: "So once I know the state of my car's brakes and if they need the car longer than just Friday, I'll let you know so we can discuss plans."
Him: "Well this weekend is really not the best for me. Work is super busy and I should really focus on it as I lost a few days with the accident. Not that I don't want to meet you, I really do. Perhaps during the week after work would be best?"
Me: "Well during the week is tough, as I mentioned before because I work an hour away and have to get home to the dog. Are you working Sunday too?"
Him: "No going to my parents for the superbowl."
Ah yes. Meeting me ranks somewhere below 12 consecutive hours of football. Hey I understand sports interest, hell, I understand sports obsession. But not even the World Series goes that long without a break. Even though I am interested in the 12-minute halftime performance of Mr Bruce Springsteen, I could not manage to find my range of understanding for PT guy at this point.
Me: "Ah, right that starts at 6....so we couldn't meet for lunch at 1...." (Sounding snide I know.) Then I wrote: "Perhaps if it is this hard to even meet for the first time, it is a sign that it'd be even harder to get together after meeting with our schedules and distance. I want to meet you very much but perhaps it just isn't meant to be."
Him: "Stay positive. We'll meet, this weekend is just tough."
Me: "I am positive. Just taking a realistic approach. Well, here's what I think. If during the week really is best for you and you can drive out closer to me, I could meet you after I come home to let the dog out."
No response. He did after all, indicate that he would come out here in an effort to show his interest. So um yeah, that's where that sits. At the bottom of the Hudson River, I think.
No one will be my priority when I am just an option.
And that, is how plan B becomes plan A: I am going to see The Wrestler.
"Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free?
If you've ever seen a one trick pony then you've seen me..."
Losing Weight; Finding Men
"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."