Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Winner: Me; Loser: The Neggies

morning weight: xxx lbs
Valentine's day goal: xxx lbs

I am determined to make this post as positive as I possibly can. For my own sanity and yours. Yes, you can thank me later. But there WILL be some ranting against the male gender and some lamenting for my loss of innocence and naivety. Consider yourself warned.

I'm FOUR lbs away from the spring training goal. And congrats to Soxy Deb on reclaiming that 10 lb bling! Getting sick has its advantages! I will not be indulging in anything "extra" foodwise all weekend. Let's see if I can actually break the cycle of the last two weeks. Tonight's workout will give me $29 in the reward jar for my dayafter flowers.

I had an awesome workout on the treadmill. So glad my peroneus muscles like me again! I am not pleased with how the Daily Plate tracks exercise (much too generalized) so I am going to just try to track it here myself. Maybe I'll make it a sidebar post. edited: done, see Gym is the New Sex!

I often forget the numbers by the time I get home so I'm taking a photo each time to remember. I should probably look into some applications for my crackberry to track my fitness. First there was 15 minutes of warming up, I should have taken a photo of that too because I think I burned 100 cals in that 15 minutes. Even if the ratings on the machine are inaccurate, I still see a significant difference from starting heart rate (last night's was a ridiculous low 85) to working heart rate.

Workout heart rate: 127 (low) to 140-155 (high)
Workout mode: Random, level 10 at 2.6 mph

Although it is less distance and not as fast as I had been doing, I am mindful of not re-injuring my leg muscles, particularly as I overpronate when I walk. In fact, I'm downright grateful my body is holding up as well as it is so far. I have put the bones and muscles through more than a decade of extreme weight.

------start rant-------

OK so....here we go.

Friday night: Personal Trainer guy and I spoke on phone to confirm date. 1:30 Saturday. Excellent. Couldn't wait. Lots of innuendos and flirting. Good stuff.

9:15 Saturday: Text from PT guy, "I won't be able to get done with clients before 2:30....." I respond immediately, "OK, so when would you like to meet? About 4:00?"

No reply. About 10:30, I'm gently reminded by Sweden that he's probably just busy with clients. Umhm 10 second text messages are impossible in between clients. He had no trouble sending the first one!

1:30 Saturday arrives, the original time we were supposed to meet. I text him: "Haven't heard back from you. I'm flexible on when, just need an estimation."

No reply. Busy guy, hmm.

5:43 Saturday: Email arrives from PT guy. "I just got home and don't have my phone....I lost it in my car. Someone hit me while I was coming home to shower today and I had to go to the hospital. I'm extremely sorry that I couldn't let you know what happened. Hope that you're well and I'll talk to you soon."

What has me really crushed is that I've lost my ability to give a guy the benefit of the doubt. I don't believe him. I've watched too many crime-solving shows and had too many people lie to me to believe something like this. And it may be true for all I know. Maybe he's reading my blog. Not likely, he barely knows how to IM. He's probably just another mindfucker type who gets off on not being straightforward. Or he's got a case of the inabilities to hurt a woman with the truth, as referred to in the book He's Just Not that Into You. (Finally that movie is coming out!!!!)

Red flag #1: He didn't text back either time today. Not characteristic of how he's been the 3 weeks we've been communicating. He's had busy days before and managed to text.
Red flag #2: Last text was sent well before he was driving home to shower. If it was 2:30 or later, I should have had some indication from him on when we were meeting.
Red flag #3: Three hours later he's home from hospital without car and sending me an email? That's quick stuff.

I really think guys need to go away where there are no females. Seriously. They need to go to male awareness boot camp. Be without women for 6 months or longer for particularly tough cases. See if they can find a way to appreciate our existence a bit instead of take us for granted and attempt to make us less than we deserve.

------stop rant-------

Poo-poo PT guy did not win today!
The neggies (negative thoughts) did not win today!
I did not cave in and seek out a greasy bacon cheeseburger and fries from Five Guys. Even though I was shopping two doors away and could smell the fries!

I win today!

Not sure about tomorrow, but today I win.


Soxy Deb said...

A food addiction is like any other, so One Day at a Time does apply here. Congrats to you my sweet friend for winning on this day. All we can do is the best we can do and you did just that. Awesome!
It does make me sad to hear you have no faith in mankind anymore. And I mean that literally - MAN kind. I want so much for you to find someone you just know is telling you the truth. Not blowing smoke up your ass. Someone that has a feeling of safety and coming home and he feels the same way right back.
That's my wish for you. I'll be asking for that all year. To any god that's listening.
Love and Hugs!!

Sarah said...

This exercise log is starting to motivate me. I really really need to get moving.

I have no idea how this story turns out, but sounds to me like PT is lying. I say that because I've had someone tell me the exact same thing. And it was definitely a lie. Although every man I date seems to lie to me or just stop talking/texting/whatever with me without explanation. Yes- let's send them all to Australia or something and when they pass a test to prove that they are capable of appreciating and respecting a woman, they will come back with a tan and an accent. Double bonus!

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.