morning reality: xxx lbs
valentine's day goal: xxx lbs
Ice here on the roads has kept me working at home. Yay. I love working from home. No constant interruptions; I can actually get some editing done and hear myself think. Amazing stuff.
I had a headache last night that sent me to bed, but it also kept me awake. I've not had one like that - not that I can recall. The pain was so bad in the right quadrant of my head I thought it was going to split open and tiny men were going to crawl out and start singing and dancing on my skull. It was likely a barometric pressure headache but it sure felt like something unusual. So, I did not get to the gym to lift weights.
I will go today, another round of cardio. I have to make sure I eat today though. I tend to not eat as well or as much when I'm home. I'm already far behind by not having breakfast.
I guess Oprah's doing a week of weightloss motivation or something? I snagged this from Carolina Girl.
Bob Greene's Five Questions to Consider
1. What are you really hungry for?
2. Why are you overweight?
Food was a weapon used against me as a child. I was forcefed, lied to about, and cajoled into eating. I was ridiculed for the types of food I did like and scolded for the types of food I refused to eat.
In college, I went wild. Ate only what I wanted. Freshman 15? No, try freshman 50.
Then when I was married and didn't have children, because I was incredibly afraid to have any because I thought I would ruin them (yes, that's the influence my mother had), I felt carrying that little bit of extra weight back then was a bit like being somewhat pregnant. Odd I know. It wasn't a lot compared to now, maybe 30 lbs. And everyone said I looked fine just the way I was and the doctors never said anything to me about cholesterol or triglycerides.
Now I think I struggle with losing because I'm afraid of how much sexual interest I'll have if I'm thin. I'm already an off the charts Samantha type. So I'm setting myself up to never achieve that which I'm really hungry for: love, acceptance, companionship. Makes sense to me.
3. Why have you been unable to maintain weight loss in the past?
Definitely tied to carbohydrates and how they take up residence in my body. Also, once I get to the 50 lb lost mark, I get cocky and complacent just like Oprah thought "I've got this..." ummm, no. It is a constant thing, just like an addict, it will always be there.
4. What in your life is not working?
Ummm...define not working? Everything? Right now, my life is work. I hate that. But I'm hoping I can change that by losing weight. Then the social aspect will pick up.
5. Why do you want to lose weight?
I know how much better I feel. Every type of stress becomes easier to handle and manage when I feel good about myself. The self esteem is amazing.
Losing Weight; Finding Men
"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."