Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Two Dates; Half Lousy

And finally....I had two dates yesterday. One planned. One spontaneous. Which one do you think went well? Oddly, not the spontaneous one, which is what I would have bet against odds on. Oh well, take a chance on me, right ABBA?

Velvet Voice and...Nothing
Planned 2nd date with Velvet Voice in afternoon. Four solid games of billiard, he beat me fair and square 3 out of 4. But we agreed that I lined up some nice shots for him to clinch the deals. Lots of fun, lots of humor, really chummy. Lunch afterwards, typical, good food. Quite a bit of talk about all the job possibilities he has in the hopper. This guy does not like to be idle. Positive. Especially since I am so sloth-like. Haha. Good conversation about each other's families, growing up, and 4th of July plans (mine: hiding under the covers with the dogs; his: several picnics). He did ask me a few questions which was great, indicating that yes, indeed he can shut up about himself and listen. He had suggested "grabbing sandwiches and watching a movie back at my place," but the reality was that he didn't have enough time as he had to go watch his niece and nephew for the evening. I did not like that he invited himself over, but I let it pass as it seemed harmless and I'm trying not to be such a bitch. Really I am. He offered some kisses but he was overly concerned with food between his teeth and did not want to kiss overly much. Alrighty.

The End of Classy Guy
Spontaneous date with Classy Guy. Not. He needs a new name. International Asshole maybe. Sigh. I was already planning a solo movie trip to see The Proposal or The Hangover at 10 pm. Like a radar or something, he texted at 9 pm and said "Want to see a movie?" so I said "Sure...." He didn't care what he said, he just wanted to get out of his room at the Marriott. So, I don't even know where to begin. Again, it was the little things. He has GPS and he's insisted he never needs directions (which I was fully prepared to give) even though he's new to Jersey. Then he can't find the theater for 20 minutes, and he's driving around asking ME "Where am I...." and I'm playing Where's Asshole by asking "What are you seeing as you drive by...." But, I joyfully brush off this frustration, because he's SO mad when he shows up, I know that I can only just smile and let it go. So, we missed The Hangover start by about 15 minutes but The Proposal was just getting started so that was that decision.

Sitting up close because that's all that was left, I'm sure that Sandra's nostril was the size of my head. Then I learn that the man has absolutely NO movie theater etiquette. Where the hell was he living all his life that he could just talk out loud at me and at the screen? What is that about? I had to shush him several times. But the movie got him laughing a lot and he seemed to really relax. OK good. I settled in and enjoyed the movie as much as one can enjoy a movie where you know exactly what's going to happen and you're staring at the body of an actress who is in her late 40s (?) and looks like she could be 21. Lovely. Nice nude shots Sandra, more power to you, seriously. The cutest thing was the dog, but that's me. At one point, he actually turned to me and said "I thought they were only there for a weekend, it has been two nights already." *blink* Sooooo....12:30 we get out and surprise, he is hungry. Starving actually, hasn't eaten dinner etc etc. I'm debating, should I just go home, I wasn't planning to eat because my lunch was late with Velvet Voice. We try Friday's - only the kitchen is closed, bar is left open (oddness). We end up at a diner. Here's where it gets interesting.

Right away, he sees the manager and he starts talking to him in Arabic. Asking him where he's from, etc. Don't ask me how I know, I just know. It is a thing with me. Some words I can just know, some words don't get translated etc, etc. Then the International Asshole of Mystery refuses to tell him anything about himself, his last name or anything. Flat out refuses. The manager looks at me and asks me where he's from. I shrug and say "Last week it was Morroco..." The manager tells the waitress to serve me, but the guy can't eat anything. We all laugh and silently I wonder if the food is going to arrive clean. So I order some grilled shrimp. He orders a chicken eggplant sandwich. They both arrive with french fries, even though mine was supposed to be rice. Holy hell, I can't resist. It is like better than winning Megamillions to my carb-starved cells. I'm on top of those fries and silently loving them like there's no tomorrow. He's grooving on his sandwich, pouring way too much ketchup on his fries, and I'm at peace for a moment. Then he gets up, sits next to me on my side of the booth (something I normally find very romantic), and asks me to explain baseball to him.

So I use the rebroadcast of the Yankee game that is playing on the TV. He proceeds to argue with me about how I am not explaining the game correctly to him, while admitting to me that he knows nothing about the game. I'm beginning to grow frustrated. In the middle of this, he glances at my plates and says (you knew this was coming didn't you?): "You know I've noticed something about you....you don't really eat healthy...." *blink* What is wrong with grilled (not fried) shrimp - maybe a little high in cholesterol? So clearly he meant the fries. The last meal we had was Mediterranean - grilled lamb, vegetables, salad, and we split a piece of baklava - at his insistence actually.

This comment of his sits on top of Mr CNA's comments, Mr Listener's comments, and every other comment anyone has ever made about my body or my eating habits. I think this wounded me because hell, I had TRIED my best, and not ordered like 7 other far worse things I wanted on the menu to begin with. I don't know if I handled it correctly or not, but I can only be myself. And I just looked at him and told him quite calmly, "I think that is a rude thing to say as someone is trying to enjoy their meal." He laughs at me, doesn't get up, and says "I was just making an observation." So I got more upset at this point, "You're an ass, please go sit on the other side of the table, I don't want to sit next to you right now." And he doesn't budge. Totally being manipulative and childlike.

So I guess I got down to his level, and I said, "OK well I have an observation too...you treat people rudely. We came in here and you immediately began speaking in Arabic to the manager and you asked him where he was from and he told you. But when he asked you where you were from, you just played a game with him for your amusement. I don't think that's very nice. You should treat other people as you would like to be treated."

We finish our food, and I try to pay for my part of the meal, because I want him to know I do not consider this a date. He refuses, and the waitress takes his money even though I have mine in my hand for her. He tells me he isn't going to leave the waitress a good tip because she didn't come to check on us. I said I didn't blame her as he had acted like a nutcase with the manager. So I put down some more money on the table.

Then we're in the parking lot and he informs me, not asks, that he will have to sleep on my couch tonight because his gas light is on and there are no stations open.

I said absolutely not, he could sleep in his truck. But I didn't like that idea either, and felt bad for him and thought of my own advice of treating others as I would want to be treated. So we went home and got the gas from my garage for the lawnmower and came back to the parking lot and he poured it into his truck.

Then he tried to tell me that he could just sleep on my couch. And I told him with all seriousness that I didn't have a couch. He looked stunned. What, he doesn't have a last name; I don't have a couch. And we parted ways. And he's called me 3 times since last night, one was to tell me that he deleted my number from his phone because I'm a strange unkind woman.

Honestly. Why do I bother? Oh yes. Because I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.


*rolling eyes*


Carolina Girl said...

Let me tell you one damn thing (Oh yes I'm pissed!)

First of all, there is NOTHING wrong with you OR your eating habits. You work your ass off in the gym every day, and if you want to enjoy a few effing french fries, then sister you go for it.

The problem is THEM, not you. Unfortunately, you have been dating a bunch of insecure men who seem to find enjoyment or sick pleasure in making YOU insecure. This is not your issue at all, it is theres. They are morons.

You are beautiful, smart and sexy regardless of your size. And the RIGHT man will appreciate this about you. He will not think "Oh she's funny and smart, if only she were a little smaller."

I say, don't give up. Keep trying. He's out there, I KNOW it. And GOOD FOR YOU for telling him in a MUCH kinder way than I would have, to go F Off. We should call Teresa of the Real Housewives. LOL

Ok, I'm simmering down now. Did you enjoy Hangover? lol

Graciela said...

You really have had a spate of bad luck in the man department. I knew there were lots of weird ones out there, but they all seem to be lined up like in a shooting gallery (and…most of them deserve to be shot). “Hey, I’m chauvinistic and crude, pick me!” “No, I’m perverted and self-absorbed, pick me!” “Wait a minute, I’m disgusting and think women should be available at my beck and call…PICK ME!”

Sounds pretty bad. But the bottom line is the way they are has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with you . They didn’t just get that way when they met you. There is a reason they are not currently in a relationship, probably something to do with these characteristics. You, on the other hand, are a beautiful, loving, and caring person, who is open to finding the good in someone. So you give them a chance. They give a first good impression, but they can’t sustain the illusion, so they disappoint you once the real person shows up.

But there will come a day when a good one will show up. And then all this “pain and suffering” will have been worth it. The saying is so true: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.”

(P.S. also...sorry about your on-going cell phone issues!)

Sarah said...

"he doesn't have a last name; I don't have a couch"

That would be a great name for the book we're going to write.

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.