Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wicked Wednesday

Well I've gone and done it now...

On the eharm profile, I've put that the most important trait a guy has to have is that he "must love dogs." I explain that while it sounds amusing, it is true, because "if he loves dogs, he'll understand unconditional love which is what I hope to find and hope to give."

Collectively now: "Awwww...."

In the end, I'll be able to say I was absolutely myself.

Even if my absolute self might send guys reaching for the CLOSE MATCH button faster than usual.

And Pet Passions and Must Love Pets? I suspected it wouldn't be very fruitful, but turns out they are a total waste of time, because you cannot contact anyone until you pay money. 100% free my ass.

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My SLUMDOGLORDS have erected a mother huge-ass circus tent in their back yard that extends all the way toward my place (about 20 feet between the edge of the tent and where my yard begins). By the way, no one has ever sat on the tree benches. Perhaps soon though!

I swear to god if elephants or llamas or camels or sacred cows show up, you will hear about it!

Meanwhile, I'm wondering where else I can be this weekend.

Besides hanging out in the backyard in my underwear or something equally obscene.

The dogs are going to be thrilled, let me tell you. A solid bunch of *CENSORED* to bark at nonstop? YES!

What? Yes, I'm wholly embarrassed to admit that my dogs are sometimes racist. I tried to get them edu-ma-cated, but I can't afford it when I have to pay for the doggy Ritalin. Darn Belgian shepherds and their elite haughtiness.

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Chicago has finally toned down his "How are you/here's what going on with work/I miss you" messages to just once a day. Yikes. Once a day. He's the one who said it wasn't going to work first! Now he writes that he's confused. Ugh.

Monday I told him quite clearly that I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who didn't love animals. And he readily admitted he did not love animals. Case closed.

Then he writes "I miss the smell of your hair." I should have written back "But you don't miss the smell of my dogs' hair."

My next step will have to be to tell him I'm pursuing another eHarm possibility. But that's not the truth yet and this girl don't lie.

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I've started Breaking Dawn. It is hard to put it down to sleep. Or write. Or work.

But Edward

(ummmm minor possible spoiler here)

is so tortured and I'm only at page 200....I can hardly bear it. But I could kill Bella with my own bare hands. Which would make me Edward's enemy. Oh the torture! She makes Joan of Arc, the martyrs of all martyrs, seem selfish.

Speaking of selfish, I must get back to Edward's tortured existence.

(Sox win! Sox win!)

2 comments:

♥georgie♥ said...

you are making me want to re-read the whole series lol i know edward is tortued in that book...and just when i was prepared to move on to the sookie stackhouse series

Sara Ann said...

Hi. I found your blog through a mutual friend, and have been reading ever since. Reading your blog reminds me a lot of myself.. I cannot date anyone that doesn't love my dog. I work with dogs, and it is just impossible to compromise my love of animals for a man.

Breaking Dawn was my fav book.

And Georgie... I highly recommend the Sookie Stackhouse books. I just started the 6th one, and they are so hard to put down. So very good.

you're like butter to me

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Just a Lovable Party Girl
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