Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Monday, August 10, 2009

What Weekend?

There's not much to say about my weekend. So I will proceed to say not much about it.

The Sox didn't JUST lose 1, 2, or 3 games....they lost ALL 4 games to the Yankers. Despite all-out, phenomenal, heart and soul playing. In baseball, this is called getting "swept" and there are broom references abound. Going to work in Westchester county NY today will be like walking through the valley of sneers and loathing. But that's OK. I still love my baseball. I still love my Sox.

I just don't know that I can watch the rest of the season. I can love them from afar. And maybe I should sell my September Sox vs. Oriole tickets for a ticket to Chicago to see Springsteen perform the entire Born to Run album instead. (Let's see if Soxy Deb is still reading my blog for a reaction...)

Garage: Not cleaned.
Gym: Not worked.
Breaking Dawn: Not read.

Somewhere along the road to these things, I became less interested in achieving them and more interested in sleeping. T.o.M. really kicked my ass hard this weekend. I have an awful lot to make up at the gym.

Chicago arrives Thursday night, and I've begun to get used to the feeling sinking in that there just isn't anything I can or cannot do before then that will or won't make a difference in how he feels about me. First impressions are first impressions. It's going to go over like a lead balloon (does anyone use that expression anymore or just those of us approaching our 4th decade?) or it is going to go smashingly well or it is going to go straight down the blaise middle of the road. Yeah he's fairly into me at the moment. It is awfully sweet. But I don't know if I'm all that into him until we eyeball each other.

Just been way too many times where I've been disappointed or downright hurt to have much over-the-top optimism right now. I am not pessimistic though, I'm just more realistic. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. I can only be myself. And that self is someone with a fair amount of wonderful qualities. And a fair amount of flaws. He's got plenty too. Whether or not our qualities mix or our flaws diametrically oppose one another will remain to be seen until some point in the near future. So until then, what the hell am I stressing out about?

Oh yes, I remember now. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Got it. Too bad that wasn't even remotely in my realm of thoughts before I got divorced 13 years ago.

4 comments:

♥georgie♥ said...

Confidence is one of the best things to carry while making a first impression...

sorry about your Soxs...

A True Heart Girl in Jersey said...

That's right Georgie luv, fake it til you make it! That's my motto!

S. said...

I always tell people who I've met online and then meet in person that the in-person meeting kind of resets everything and makes it almost like whatever pre-in-person conversations didn't happen. Once I see how someone laughs or how they hold themselves or whatever little random mannerisms they have, it's like they become a completely different person to me.

I know what you mean about not wanting to be alone forever. I do really like my independent life, but oh how I yearn for a partner as well. :-(

Soxy Deb said...

OK - LISTEN UP! This is not going to happen. You are NOT going to give up your tickets cause I would be so mad at you (ok, maybe not MAD, but really,really hurt).You told me you were the type of person that if you say your gonna do something, your gonna DO IT. So I expect you there in Sept. The end.
We're Sox fans. Yes, sometimes it sucks, but we bleed Boston Red baby and that's all there is to it. You can't quit em if you tried. They're like crack.
So see you in a few weeks.

And as far as Chicago goes, you be you. That's all you need in any relationship (not saying there is or ever will be a relationship with Chicago because who knows?). Much like your work situ - you don't change for anyone. Anyone but you.

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.