There's not much to say about my weekend. So I will proceed to say not much about it.
The Sox didn't JUST lose 1, 2, or 3 games....they lost ALL 4 games to the Yankers. Despite all-out, phenomenal, heart and soul playing. In baseball, this is called getting "swept" and there are broom references abound. Going to work in Westchester county NY today will be like walking through the valley of sneers and loathing. But that's OK. I still love my baseball. I still love my Sox.
I just don't know that I can watch the rest of the season. I can love them from afar. And maybe I should sell my September Sox vs. Oriole tickets for a ticket to Chicago to see Springsteen perform the entire Born to Run album instead. (Let's see if Soxy Deb is still reading my blog for a reaction...)
Garage: Not cleaned.
Gym: Not worked.
Breaking Dawn: Not read.
Somewhere along the road to these things, I became less interested in achieving them and more interested in sleeping. T.o.M. really kicked my ass hard this weekend. I have an awful lot to make up at the gym.
Chicago arrives Thursday night, and I've begun to get used to the feeling sinking in that there just isn't anything I can or cannot do before then that will or won't make a difference in how he feels about me. First impressions are first impressions. It's going to go over like a lead balloon (does anyone use that expression anymore or just those of us approaching our 4th decade?) or it is going to go smashingly well or it is going to go straight down the blaise middle of the road. Yeah he's fairly into me at the moment. It is awfully sweet. But I don't know if I'm all that into him until we eyeball each other.
Just been way too many times where I've been disappointed or downright hurt to have much over-the-top optimism right now. I am not pessimistic though, I'm just more realistic. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. I can only be myself. And that self is someone with a fair amount of wonderful qualities. And a fair amount of flaws. He's got plenty too. Whether or not our qualities mix or our flaws diametrically oppose one another will remain to be seen until some point in the near future. So until then, what the hell am I stressing out about?
Oh yes, I remember now. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Got it. Too bad that wasn't even remotely in my realm of thoughts before I got divorced 13 years ago.
Losing Weight; Finding Men
"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."