Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Saturday, August 29, 2009

From Date to Friend?

The Harry Potter Lookalike that I boffed back in December emailed yesterday and asked if I wanted to grab some dinner with him, dutch. Well, we all knew I'm unforgettable. And we all knew he was strange...and maybe desperate?

But this was not a date, this was a friend thing, he thought we could chat about work (we work for the same conglomerate, different sites). I hemmed and hawed; my anger toward him had long since faded, and I tried to remember if we had anything to talk about besides my least favorite subject of work, remembered that he was a Springsteen fan, and agreed. It is what the lonely, friendless in Jersey do.

He has this quirky goal to reach 50 diners in Jersey before 2010, so we went to a Jersey diner on his list. All the while, I'm thinking what's his angle. Turns out he really just wanted some company. Except he did seem to need to vent about his dating experiences of the last 6 months, so we traded a bit of "Tales of the Tail."

I did my good deed, I listened intently, and when he ASKED for my opinion, I was surprised. Genuinely wanting a woman's opinion; a sign of friendship perhaps. I told him that he may do things on the first date that appear to be rude or disinterested. He asked for examples. I didn't hold back. Lack of eye contact, walking ahead of the date, not opening the door, and interrupting the date when she's talking. I also said don't nickel and dime over the bill.

He nodded, and it seemed he knew most of this already. I also told him that his need "not to plan" that he calls "spontaneity" and I call "being plan B or C on a date night" is going to turn off a lot of women. Whether we are the only one he's dating or not, we'd like to feel as if we are. If he wants to make it beyond the first date, he has to compromise a little and plan.

So I came home from this diner experience, mulling over the things he said to me. How I'm so attractive I should be beating men off with a stick. Yeah baby, you got that right. And that I could have any guy with just the allure of my eyes. And if I wanted to "release some urges," he would "take one for the team." I stared at him and said, "I realize you were joking, but no woman wants to hear a guy is going to take one for the team by going to bed with her." He mumbled that it was appropriate because we'd been talking about baseball and football. I just sighed. I'm too sensitive.

I went searching online for more clothes to wear. I don't know why I was torturing myself further. But I found this site I wanted to let everyone know about, regardless of what SIZE you are, they can help you find precise fitting clothing. Short legs, long torso? Wide shoulders, narrow waist? My measurements indicated I apparently have proportioned shoulders and hips, just my kangaroo pouch is the obvious problem.


CAUTION: Be prepared to take A LOT of body measurements. I mean at least 25. But so worth it. I actually have hope.

The results are their suggestions on clothes based on your body measurements. Not just the basic breasts, waist, hips, but everything. Inseam, breast rise, shoulder width, etc etc.

I am renewed with hope, along with the advice of two sweet and truthful friends, and I will be making another round of purchases.

But first I must go return these. Shopping on a Saturday? Who I am and what has happened to me? Those baby strollers better stay out of my way. After all, I didn't win the megamillions, and I've got an attitude!


Maruska Morena said...

Taking one for the team? You seriously should have slugged him. No one wants to hear "Oh I don't want to sleep with you, but I will if no one else will" which is the equivalent of the phrase "taking one for the team". Seriously this guy needs his head checked.

I tried checking out that site you mentioned, but alas I cannot find my tape measure.. so it'll have to wait another day or so. :)

Sarah said...

That's not you being too sensitive. That's him being insensitive. Big difference!

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.