Sick Masochistic Lion No Longer

This post is about Breaking Dawn, the last of the Twilight books.

Spoilers below.

You've been forewarned.

this is a really long time by McLovin' Life.♥ on Polyvore.com

Edward? Are you there?

There's nothing now...but silence.

I remember the last time I talked with him. He'd married Bella and they were honeymooning. And I finally felt I could relate to their love, remembering my own young love when I got married at 20. I was really thrilled they'd found a way to be together.

But Edward and his appeal have left me. And Edward, this feels really strange because I didn't imagine this would ever happen.

I thought Mr Fictional Character would always be there. How is it possible that he's left me, if all that existed was conjured in my head?

And I know the exact moment he left me.

The moment he laid his vampire eyes on his... spawn.

Yes. Oh good grief Charlie Brown!

No. No. No.

Give me a break. A child!? Wait, let me throw the freak of nature a baby shower. She's going to need a lifetime supply of blood.

Perhaps for many women and all those teenage girls, the storyline is so romantic. I can see how it might be. Not only are Bella and Edward together forever, but they have a delightful child who will be as well. Oh goody goody gumdrops.

I understand it was geared for teenage girls. Maybe because I cut my vampire teeth on Anne Rice's novels, I'm a little too jaded. Any other conclusion to this tale would have been acceptable. So, I'm sorry, but I'll take the fantastical make-believe world of True Blood Bon Temps any day over the extremely idyllic supernatural life in Forks.

I'd say I lost about 85% interest in Edward, my handsome vampire de jour, and I struggled to even finish the book.

I began to read it solely to read another writer's technique. And there too, I became disappointed. Where was Edward? Where was his character development? He'd become a cardboard cut-out, save for a few moments defending his family at the end.

I'm also really amazed at how easily everything came together for Bella. Even her father's acceptance. Even her lack of bloodlust. Easy peasy. She had to struggle through 3 other books but wow, the 4th book was the easy life in comparison. I never liked her whiny, uber low self esteem, but at least her struggles were worth reading.

Of course, Alice was the greatest heroine, and maybe they should be writing books just about her.

I thought I would be gushing. I thought I would be thrilled. But that ending was such an anticlimatic ending that I feel robbed of any real sense of accomplishment. Of course, ironic about Jacob and the child, and interesting how they had to save Bella's life by turning her, thus absolving the guilt factor a bit for Edward. But those are such minor elements to the story.

Several people have told me they loved Breaking Dawn the most out of the books. Please, write and tell me why. I respect everyone's opinion even if I don't share it. And all the other books had meaning in their titles. What's the meaning of Breaking Dawn, did I miss it somewhere? Like during one of the countless times I fell asleep trying to finish the book?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. If the books were written from Edward's point of view, it might be more interesting for me. I certainly devoured Midnight Sun. I wonder what the audio books sound like?

Goodbye Edward, you are a sick masochistic lion no longer. You know, there is an actor portraying you in the movies. Really not how I imagined you, but so be it. I will look on you fondly as the movies come out, and remember the nights you used to thrill me so much. It was good while it lasted.