It's raw and icy and PERFECT outside. Yes, you read right. Perfect. Just the way I want it. Just the way I feel inside. Raw and icy and I want to keep everyone away from me by being prickly. I actually physically feel the warmth shrinking inside me and the bitterness seeping in to fill the crevices. I think it is called self-preservation and self-pity. Yeah yeah, I know damn well so many other people have it SO much worse than I do. I know. I know people dying of cancer. I know people physically unable to lose weight due to medical reasons. I know people battling other addictions. I know all about it, so please just leave it alone OK?
I shouldn't have looked back, but I did. A year ago, I have thought the same thoughts and weighed about the same. An entire year come and gone. No progress. Loss and gain, loss and gain. Just churning the wheel in the mud. Now I'm thinking of ditching all the past posts because I can't bear to look back and see how much I've failed. I'm thinking of ditching the blog altogether. Along with all of the weight loss attempts.
I'm so tired of trying. So tired. Sorry if you see me as your inspiration, you've set your sights on a falling star. Look for something that shines brighter in the sky. I've fallen and I can't get up.
Losing Weight; Finding Men
"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."