Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Fickle Sagittarian

"Don't you know before you choose your wish

You'd better think first
'Cause with every wish there comes a curse"
-With Every Wish, Springsteen

OK it has only been two nights (out of two weeks) with my FwB Geeky Lay. But I'm having some issues, and I'm trying to sort them out of my head onto the open space here.

  • He doesn't mind the animals. He pets them and offers them Reiki.
  • He doesn't mind my weight. He pays great attention to me between the sheets and in public.
  • He doesn't mind that my back causes me to lie flat sometimes. He offers me Reiki.
  • He's 29 in bed.
  • He opens doors.
  • He insists on paying.
  • He knows how to kiss.
  • He's 29 in bed. (Yes, I think it counts twice.)


  • He only wants to get together on Fridays. (He *ahem* games on Saturday and Sundays. He's rehearsing a theater play the rest of the week and taking four courses during the day.)
  • He talks about the things he has done or the things he can do with an air of superiority that often makes me want to cringe and/or roll my eyes but I've stopped myself.
  • He's 50 when he's dining out.
  • He's 75 when he's driving.
  • He rents a studio apartment from his parents.
  • He lives 49 miles away.

Well, clearly the pros outweigh the cons. And realistically, some of the cons are also pros, and some of the cons aren't really cons at all. I'm not looking to marry the guy.

So what in the bloody hell is wrong with me? Why am I bored when the sex isn't happening?

Has it been so long since someone has been nice to me that I don't know how to handle it?

Has it been so long since I've had a fairly functional interaction with a man (Honestly? L was never fairly functional, so we're talking way way 6-7 years back when I lived with Scottish DJ.) that I no longer want a fairly functional interaction with a man?

Earlier today I actually thought to myself, "Right well, that's that. I'm done. Next."

And I had to pull back and re-think, "Are you nuts, out of your damn tree, you fickle, flighty Sagittarian?! Do you not remember ANY of the last 13 dry painful months you spent keening for a partner?!"

Can someone please slap me? Thank you.


S. said...

Man, I feel like you are describing every dating experience I've had in the past few years: happy to be involved with someone and entirely discontent with that someone at the same time. But like you said, you don't want to marry him. Are you still exploring other options while getting what you can from this...option?

Me said...

The good thing about FwB's is that you can have more than one of them.

Carolina Girl said...

I think it's good that he fulfulls parts of what you are looking for. But don't feel bad for continuing to look for the one that fulfills everything (ok maybe not EVERYthing but most). He's your "in-between" that will get you through to the one. That's my take on it. :)

Graciela said...

Even though this guy satisfies one part of you, I don't think it is fickle to want it all in a relationship.

Don't stop looking for "the one." You will find him.

Girl of True Heart said...

More than one FwB at a time? I don't think I can do that....if I find myself wanting to have sex with someone else, I won't keep having it with Geeky Lay. Just not how I roll. Wish I could.

Soxy Deb said...

Come here, I'll slap you.
As sad as it made me to know how lonely you were, I've been equally happy reading that you seemed to be enjoying your time with GL. Take it for whatever it is and enjoy your time together.

In other news,
Mike and I are talking of doing the Balty thing again this year, just to let you know.
And yes, all on ALLI. I still would like to lose a few more, but I'm done with the ALLI now and know full well I need to start a workout program. I will too...someday (lol)

Jersey Girl said...

Consider yourself slapped!

MissMelisaMae said...

8 words...

"he rents a studio apartment with his parents"

What is that???

But all joking aside, there is nothing wrong with you! And I WON'T slap you because he bores you. As you've said, you aren't going to marry him so it shouldn't matter. If you are only looking for a FwB relationship here then there is not a problem.

Just enjoy that your dryspell has ended and roll with it. Besides, after hearing your description of him it's pretty clear that he would bore just about ANYbody! HAHA

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.