Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Monday, March 2, 2009

Mental Meltdown

You might want to skip this post. Because right now, I hate myself.

I've been doing really well so far in 2009. The regular exercise has evened out my mood swings and my saddened state of mind over being so lonely. But today, today I really hit a brick wall at 100 mph.



Have you ever done this (something like this)? Do you know what it feels like? Yes? Great, stick with me. No? Well, I can't really explain it and you might feel lost.

I worked -so- hard tonight. That's my evidence above. That's what I need to focus on.

But....no, let's rewind to 6 hours ago. When I had a mental meltdown during a conference call. Thank god for the mute button. No one noticed. I suffered in silence as I listened to all the work expected of me in the month of March. And then...when I was done sobbing, what did I do to make myself feel better?

I ate an entire bag of these:



An entire 5.5 ounce bag. Of which there were supposedly 5 servings at 140 calories each. 700 calories gone in about 10 minutes. 95 grams of carbs. Yup.

Did they taste good? Oh yeah. Did I feel better about the workload? Yeah actually, a bit.

Oh some will notice, I did make a healthy choice at the store. Brown rice, whole grain, yadda yadda yadda. That could've been, but wasn't, a bag of doritos.

But when it came right down to a mental meltdown reaction to work what did I do? I went straight for the carbs I allowed back into the cabinets and I inhaled them completely.

Yeah, I've got a problem.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Hold on to this feeling of regret and maybe next time you can remember it and make a different choice. This is just a theory since I can't seem to do this. Hopefully it works for you.

Soxy Deb said...

Yes, but you know it. My first thought, Why did you buy them at all? There is no good reason to buy them when you know in all likelihood you are not going to eat them in moderation. Your not there yet.
My second thought is something you said to me...way back when...don't beat yourself up over it. It's done, move on.
Stay away from that stuff in the store though D. If it's not in the house, you can't possibly eat it.

Sorry for sounding so harsh, just call it my version of tough love.

Carolina Girl said...

Hmm, I ate a half gallon of ice cream over the weekend. I felt pretty effin happy while I was eating it. But aftewards, disgust settled in.

Feel ya times 1,000!!

Seriously though, you are the queen of the treadmill! Hang in there my friend.

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.