You might want to skip this post. Because right now, I hate myself.
I've been doing really well so far in 2009. The regular exercise has evened out my mood swings and my saddened state of mind over being so lonely. But today, today I really hit a brick wall at 100 mph.
Have you ever done this (something like this)? Do you know what it feels like? Yes? Great, stick with me. No? Well, I can't really explain it and you might feel lost.
I worked -so- hard tonight. That's my evidence above. That's what I need to focus on.
But....no, let's rewind to 6 hours ago. When I had a mental meltdown during a conference call. Thank god for the mute button. No one noticed. I suffered in silence as I listened to all the work expected of me in the month of March. And then...when I was done sobbing, what did I do to make myself feel better?
I ate an entire bag of these:
An entire 5.5 ounce bag. Of which there were supposedly 5 servings at 140 calories each. 700 calories gone in about 10 minutes. 95 grams of carbs. Yup.
Did they taste good? Oh yeah. Did I feel better about the workload? Yeah actually, a bit.
Oh some will notice, I did make a healthy choice at the store. Brown rice, whole grain, yadda yadda yadda. That could've been, but wasn't, a bag of doritos.
But when it came right down to a mental meltdown reaction to work what did I do? I went straight for the carbs I allowed back into the cabinets and I inhaled them completely.
Yeah, I've got a problem.
Losing Weight; Finding Men
"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."