The Long Distance Dance

Mr Real Potential has been in contact with me every day since we met on Tuesday. Part of what he wrote on Saturday was about us:

"At the moment, I think I do have to keep this casual, because of my travel and living here in MN. Not that it won't change, but right now, let's just try and enjoy each day however that may be."

Breathe.

This is not a rejection.

This is a good thing. Right? I like the "Not that it won't change..." part. I like that he thinks the same way as I try to: living in the moment.

I'm so used to being fucked around and used, that my 1st reaction is to think, 'Sure, he wants to keep it casual so he can just use me when he's in town.' He's done NOTHING to make me think this way. That's the past talking, and I recognize it and it will stop.

It is important to keep eyes open, stay self-aware, be alert to the things he does and says. Let's remember from our past mistakes, saying is one thing, doing is another. Words are great, actions are better.

The real moment of truth will come the next time Mr Real Potential is in town. And actually, the days and weeks leading up to that next trip. How often am I in his thoughts, how often does he communicate with me, and what his phone calls or emails say. This is the dance of the long-distance possible relationship. It requires skill, and not everyone can do it.

And for me, I've got to lower my emotions a notch or two and not get hyper-attentive or hyper-sensitive on him. No drooling. Engage him in topical conversation. Dogs. Baseball. Perfect timing. The Red Sox season is about to start.

Let's play ball.