Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Wednesday night I went on another first date. Even though Mr Real Potential was fantastic, I really don't know how he feels about me, and I am trying to learn from my past and not put all my eggs in one basket. More accurately for me, all my desires into one man's broad shoulders.

So my date last night told me online that he was 5'5 but my sister says she's 5'5 and there's no way I'm that much taller standing next to my sister so he had to be 5'3. I loomed over this guy. Lately people have been suggesting in the dating world that we loosen up our criteria and our restrictions on who we will date. Indeed. After all, people who live in glass houses....I'll be the first to admit if I want a little consideration given to me, then I have to do the same.

The height thing isn't anything to do with him....it is about how I feel when I am with him. Yes, my insecurity. A big person doesn't want to feel bigger. And I suppose those who discriminate against me, don't like how they feel around a woman with curves and a kangaroo pouch.

My date paid for everything, told me upfront he was going to show me a great evening. He thought the sun shined on me and told me so. Very complimentary about the eyes. Very confident man with a senior management job with a very established company. Good-looking, very funny, passionate Italian. Yankee fan but not a Red Sox hater. (I remain skeptical on that point.) Says he's searching for a woman with substance, doesn't want the barbie dolls anymore. Has a crazy ex-wife.


Did you just hear the warning bells? How about the red flags? Did you see them?

Hello....I have been there. Done that. And have a movie script in the works about it.

So, I may have been willing to try out the "I'm taller and bigger than you but let's see if it works," but I'm not willing to try out for a supporting role in another Italian soap opera. No way. I invest my four year's worth. An ex-wife - ok. But he used the words "crazy ex-wife" and then went on to explain all about her brand of crazy and years later she's still in his life.

Ummmm yeah no.



Flea said...

Good for you, walking away from this one. Uh uh.

S. said...

I'm trying to figure out what my red flags are with regard to dating and the "crazy ex" is one that I'm struggling with. My own issue with "crazy exes" is that I've found plenty of cases where the ex wasn't crazy, it was just the man's truly amazingly awful behavior that inspired supposed craziness. Certainly my ex described me as crazy...and conveniently leaves out the part about cheating on me and constantly lying to me and then abandoning me as I was hugely pregnant with our second child. :-)

It's hard to figure out what can be overlooked (for example, the height issue) versus what crosses the line. I was thinking of implementing a three strikes policy...

Ocean said...

A YANKEE fan? Bzzzzzz! Next! Speaking from experience as a person who married then divorced a Yankee fan...ugh.

Also, I figured out how to comment. WooHOO! Watch out :-)

Julie said...

Listen to those warning bells, my dear. I ignored the red flags, married my ex, and was divorced 2 years and 8 days later....

Getting caught up on my blog reading. Happy Friday!!!!

Graciela said...

Unless they have kids together, there's no reason for him to still be "involved" with his crazy ex. So you are wise to let this one pass.

Plus...short is okay, but really short... I couldn't handle that.

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