A friend wrote to encourage me and asked out of curiosity, why now, did I make this decision and was it a "hitting rock bottom" type of feeling. Well, yes, in many ways, I felt like I couldn't go on anymore. In some ways it was a literal cannot get out of bed feeling, and in other ways it was an emotional blockage.
Many people are driven by a catalyst. I think that can be said of this decision for me, only I cannot say it was one thing exactly -- more so a number of things -- that caused my meltdown.
I saw photos of myself that just destroyed the mental image of what I thought I looked like these days. And I'm not talking about the semi-decent ones I have up here. But photos don't lie. Just like the photos up here show some good traits about me, the other photos show the truth of the weight. There was just no escaping it. I had to step outside myself and see what was really there.
I have also been accumulating a nagging feeling that I can't accomplish the things I want, and the reason for that is the weight holds me back. Even if it is only 100% mental and not at all an actual fact that the weight holds me back (in work, in love, in life), then I will be forever stalled in achieving success of my personal goals.
While I think that what we eat definitely plays a role in whether or not we gain weight, I also know without a doubt that what we think and how we feel about ourselves plays a large part of the result as well. I have some "bad tapes" in my head, to paraphrase Dr. Phil, about food. I don't need to know where they come from; I just need to re-record them into good tapes. Toward that end, I am using self-hypnosis. I cannot afford the $500 2-session with a professional, but I did purchase a CD called Weight Loss by Kelly Howell, from BrainSync. Check them out.
Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.
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