Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Monday, November 2, 2009

Blog Post Schizophrenia

I'm having blog post schizophrenia; several topics that have nothing to do with each other except that they're all inside my head. So here goes the brain dump.
  • Birthday
  • Vegas
  • Phone
  • Dating/Socializing

Someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

How about to be 30 again? No? Some things money can't buy.

OK, how about a trip to Milan for one week. $1,000. Maybe? If I work really hard at saving and the car doesn't need repairs that rape me.

How about a few hypnosis sessions to convince my subconscious mind that when I feel lonely, I don't need to eat? $500.

A corset that helps me lose weight? Does such a thing exist? yes! $100.

I think it is a shame that things cost so much money. Because when I want them, I have to shove away that pang of guilt for wanting things that seem to encapsulate material possessions and wealth.

What do I really want for my birthday? To be surrounded by laughter and people who really care about me. It isn't that easy. Like I said, some things money can't buy.

Yes, I am going to Vegas. In 24 days. I will get on a plane on the infamously "worst travel day of the year" in the United States, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. And I cannot wait! One of the spectacles I'm looking forward to seeing are the Bellagio Musical Fountains. Here are two beautiful videos, if you're curious.

I really want to stay healthy these next three weeks, so I'll be wearing a mask to work. You people think I'm joking. OK I am joking, but only because I don't think a mask would help a bit. If it did, I'd be Michael Jacksoning it for the entire winter and I'm not even germaphobic. But, in all seriousness, they've posted warnings on all the doors to the company building. Without a camera on my phone (I'll get to that update in a second), I can't accurately capture the warning, but it is written something like this:

Do not enter this building if
you have a cough, and / or a fever.
Turn around and go home.

Yikes. Ze Zermans are not kidding, huh? They may make a test for the swine flu, but they don't want anyone getting it. Solid effort. And I love it when the contractors say "Well I don't get paid for sick days." Well, tough shit. I don't get paid to catch your post nasal drip.

So, yes, about my phone....my darling phone, remember? FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! A fully functional crackberry is scheduled to be in my hands by Wednesday at the latest, one that is G3 networked, with a darling little camera and video capability. As soon as the clock struck October 31st, I went trick or treating at AT&T Wireless. And, unfortunately, I'm still rather anti-AT&T after all my loyal years, because the best they could offer me was a $300 upfront upgrade ($100 mail-in rebate which I don't trust) for a Blackberry Bold. I could have gotten the exact same model crackberry I have now for $150. Are they kidding? One year later and that model is obsolete. AT&T did tempt me with a $100 iphone, but it was the first model iphone ever made. Um thanks but no. I'm not a fan of touchscreens anyway.

However, I'm pleased to say that my new friends over at Wirefly were perfectly thrilled to sell me the same $300 newer model phone for $79. Come to mama, my sexy baby Bold Blackberry. Coochee coochee coo. OMG, I'm drooling over a material object.

The solitary life is beginning to grow moss upon me like a winter coat. If it weren't for email and text messaging, I wouldn't have communicated with anyone all weekend. I'm OK with that.

(Really. I hate to talk on the phone. Ironically, see above, I'm drooling over a new phone. But only because it is practically a computer.)

I'm not giving up or anything like that. I'm just tired of trying so hard. Just want to let things be. Be how they are. How the world intends it to be.

So, now is as good a time as any to ask: Why did I renew at eHarmless for 3 more months? I don't know, why is the sky blue? (WITSB) I don't know.

Because I'm trying not to give up on myself. You know, no retreat, baby, no surrender.

Another WITSB question: why do I need to use a dating site?

Because society has turned so far inward (perhaps not in a city so much but out here in the burbs) that there really aren't too many options for meeting.

My friend over at Dating 2.0 gave a great list of ways to get yourself out there.

Upon analyzing my interests, I've concluded I'm a boring geek.
  • I adore Springsteen and Red Sox.
  • I love to read but not on a deadline (sounds a little too much like my work). I've got 10 books waiting to be read.
  • I have 2 dogs.
  • I belong to a (dying) 24/7 gym.
I belong to a local NJ Red Sox community. Married men and their wives. The group leader was going to talk to the one token single guy, but then our season fell apart.

I belong to the NJ Springsteen community as much as I can, but there are crazies (like obsessed freaks), and there are snobs and I'm somewhere in between. I don't want to peel his clothes off, and I don't want to have a discussion of rock and roll. In my admiration of Springsteen in the past 20 years, I find most male single US Springsteen fans drink too much (I think 8+ beers at one concert is too much, call me crazy) and they want a thin girl. They're basing their ideal woman on someone I'm not. I'm the writer inspired by Springsteen (like Melissa Etheridge was), not the pretty girl he writes about in most of his songs. Except for Thunder Road maybe. I'm the "you ain't a beauty but hey you're alright." Now I've just got to find someone who thinks, "And that's all right with me."

But I have dogs...yes. Surely that will fetch me a guy. Not quite. Chad the soon-to-be 5-year-old has a fear aggression with other dogs that usually takes a day or two to work out of his sensors that not every dog will eat him. So we can walk but not at a dog park. Believe me, anytime he gets attention at the pet supply store, I try to soak it up. Unfortunately the one intelligent guy who works there smokes (not so smart) and has a girlfriend.

The gym has been full of .......3 types of people: muscleheads, ethnically-closed-minded, self-segregating, and non-English-speaking.

I've looked for a movie club. There isn't one. I could start one. How? With a Craigslist ad? I'll get the creeps. Or I'll attract them.

I've looked for a social club. Somehow I don't think the Knights of Columbus hall counts.


Graciela said...

My understanding about a mask is to be worn by the the sick person, to keep his germs away from others. All I can say is WASH WASH WASH your hands all the time, use hand sanitizer like crazy, and try not to touch your face unless you know your hands are clean... I'm sure you already know all that.

We were supposed to get seasonal flu shots at work a few weeks ago, but our provider ran out. So I'm just trying like heck to stay away from anyone sick.

You are gonna have a great time in Vegas! I'm excited for you.

Sarah said...

I have pretty much put the whole dating thing on a shelf for a while. I just don't have the energy to deal with them right now. I've kind of been in a self-imposed isolation lately. Spending most of my time by myself. On the one hand I enjoy it, but I know it's good to be around other people. I guess I will at some point.

:) Vegas is going to be so much fun!!

Carolina Girl said...

"I don't get paid to catch your post nasal drip." Most awesome thing you've said in a long time!

Take me with you to Vegas, baby! Or Milan. Either one will do... ;)

Maruska Morena said...

Sometimes its best to put dating on the backshelf.. but that doesn't mean you can't still get out there now and then. Check your email.. I sent you some possibly interesting groups in your area (I think).

Oh and I totally get the drooling over the new phone.. I get a little bit that way myself. Ooo new pretty techy stuff.. Gimme gimme. :)

S. said...

Ooh, your phone is purty.

I hear you about meeting people. I never encounter anyone except at work (no thanks) or at preschool/elementary school (married, no thanks) and it makes me worry that my chances of ever meeting someone are not good. Mostly, I'm too scared...er...uh, content to focus on myself and my family for now, but I really don't want things to start withering up and falling off, you know?

♥georgie♥ said...

we are both Sags...when is your Bday? did i miss where you posted it?

I soooooo wanna go to vegas, one day...one day

YAY on getting your crackberry-i am so technology behind I will never get a smart phone

Julie said...

I love Vegas!!!! Can I go too?

Come and enter my blog giveaway!!!

Jen said...

VEGAS!!! I'm so excited for you. I've always wanted to go - one day I will.
Well, I've returned to my blog (as you can tell) and I wanted to thank you for checking on me while I was hiding (and gaining).
I look forward to getting caught up on your adventures ;)

MissMelisaMae said...

I totally agree with you about the phone thing. Not sure what my phobia is with it but I'd rather email or text or see you face to face. Strange, but I totally relate.

I also relate to your WITSB feelings. I get so bored and frustrated with the men out there that I no longer have the energy to try. BUT, I still do...Just in case.

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.