Someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday.
How about to be 30 again? No? Some things money can't buy.
OK, how about a trip to Milan for one week. $1,000. Maybe? If I work really hard at saving and the car doesn't need repairs that rape me.
How about a few hypnosis sessions to convince my subconscious mind that when I feel lonely, I don't need to eat? $500.
A corset that helps me lose weight? Does such a thing exist? yes! $100.
I think it is a shame that things cost so much money. Because when I want them, I have to shove away that pang of guilt for wanting things that seem to encapsulate material possessions and wealth.
What do I really want for my birthday? To be surrounded by laughter and people who really care about me. It isn't that easy. Like I said, some things money can't buy.
Yes, I am going to Vegas. In 24 days. I will get on a plane on the infamously "worst travel day of the year" in the United States, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. And I cannot wait! One of the spectacles I'm looking forward to seeing are the Bellagio Musical Fountains. Here are two beautiful videos, if you're curious.
I really want to stay healthy these next three weeks, so I'll be wearing a mask to work. You people think I'm joking. OK I am joking, but only because I don't think a mask would help a bit. If it did, I'd be Michael Jacksoning it for the entire winter and I'm not even germaphobic. But, in all seriousness, they've posted warnings on all the doors to the company building. Without a camera on my phone (I'll get to that update in a second), I can't accurately capture the warning, but it is written something like this:
Do not enter this building if
you have a cough, and / or a fever.
Turn around and go home.
you have a cough, and / or a fever.
Turn around and go home.
Yikes. Ze Zermans are not kidding, huh? They may make a test for the swine flu, but they don't want anyone getting it. Solid effort. And I love it when the contractors say "Well I don't get paid for sick days." Well, tough shit. I don't get paid to catch your post nasal drip.
So, yes, about my phone....my darling phone, remember? FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! A fully functional crackberry is scheduled to be in my hands by Wednesday at the latest, one that is G3 networked, with a darling little camera and video capability. As soon as the clock struck October 31st, I went trick or treating at AT&T Wireless. And, unfortunately, I'm still rather anti-AT&T after all my loyal years, because the best they could offer me was a $300 upfront upgrade ($100 mail-in rebate which I don't trust) for a Blackberry Bold. I could have gotten the exact same model crackberry I have now for $150. Are they kidding? One year later and that model is obsolete. AT&T did tempt me with a $100 iphone, but it was the first model iphone ever made. Um thanks but no. I'm not a fan of touchscreens anyway.
However, I'm pleased to say that my new friends over at Wirefly were perfectly thrilled to sell me the same $300 newer model phone for $79. Come to mama, my sexy baby Bold Blackberry. Coochee coochee coo. OMG, I'm drooling over a material object.
The solitary life is beginning to grow moss upon me like a winter coat. If it weren't for email and text messaging, I wouldn't have communicated with anyone all weekend. I'm OK with that.
(Really. I hate to talk on the phone. Ironically, see above, I'm drooling over a new phone. But only because it is practically a computer.)
I'm not giving up or anything like that. I'm just tired of trying so hard. Just want to let things be. Be how they are. How the world intends it to be.
So, now is as good a time as any to ask: Why did I renew at eHarmless for 3 more months? I don't know, why is the sky blue? (WITSB) I don't know.
Because I'm trying not to give up on myself. You know, no retreat, baby, no surrender.
Another WITSB question: why do I need to use a dating site?
Because society has turned so far inward (perhaps not in a city so much but out here in the burbs) that there really aren't too many options for meeting.
My friend over at Dating 2.0 gave a great list of ways to get yourself out there.
Upon analyzing my interests, I've concluded I'm a boring geek.
- I adore Springsteen and Red Sox.
- I love to read but not on a deadline (sounds a little too much like my work). I've got 10 books waiting to be read.
- I have 2 dogs.
- I belong to a (dying) 24/7 gym.
I belong to the NJ Springsteen community as much as I can, but there are crazies (like obsessed freaks), and there are snobs and I'm somewhere in between. I don't want to peel his clothes off, and I don't want to have a discussion of rock and roll. In my admiration of Springsteen in the past 20 years, I find most male single US Springsteen fans drink too much (I think 8+ beers at one concert is too much, call me crazy) and they want a thin girl. They're basing their ideal woman on someone I'm not. I'm the writer inspired by Springsteen (like Melissa Etheridge was), not the pretty girl he writes about in most of his songs. Except for Thunder Road maybe. I'm the "you ain't a beauty but hey you're alright." Now I've just got to find someone who thinks, "And that's all right with me."
But I have dogs...yes. Surely that will fetch me a guy. Not quite. Chad the soon-to-be 5-year-old has a fear aggression with other dogs that usually takes a day or two to work out of his sensors that not every dog will eat him. So we can walk but not at a dog park. Believe me, anytime he gets attention at the pet supply store, I try to soak it up. Unfortunately the one intelligent guy who works there smokes (not so smart) and has a girlfriend.
The gym has been full of .......3 types of people: muscleheads, ethnically-closed-minded, self-segregating, and non-English-speaking.
I've looked for a movie club. There isn't one. I could start one. How? With a Craigslist ad? I'll get the creeps. Or I'll attract them.
I've looked for a social club. Somehow I don't think the Knights of Columbus hall counts.