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Friday, November 13, 2009

Sensitive Is a 4-Letter Word

All my life, I've been told:
"You're too sensitive."

Family, friends, lovers, they've all offered or confirmed this observation at one point or another.


It is really one of the most unhelpful observations I've ever heard. What would people like me to do with that knowledge? As if I'm hearing it for the first time at age 40.

A few times I have responded, "And you're not sensitive enough." Usually I say this when I'm prepared not to talk to the person anymore.

I'm sure some of these "You're too sensitive" statements were said to cover the person's own LACK of sensitivity, but others have been genuinely concerned.

My mother's advice to me when I was young:
"You're too sensitive. You better toughen up, life is going to roll right over you."

That seems to have been rather prophetic Mom. Any other future events you're aware of? I love how her advice to her third daughter didn't include any specific ways to actually BE less sensitive.

Do you know why?

Because it can't be changed!!

I readily admit I am too sensitive. Wholeheartedly agree and wish that I wasn't.

You'd think after all I'd experienced, I would have indeed "toughened up," "grown thicker skin," or somehow changed. I read about how to harness your personal power. I've taken classes on projecting authority, and separating emotions from the workplace.

Well, guess what? I am too sensitive. The barometric pressure reading is off.

I'd like to be returned to the factory, please. There's some DNA missing perhaps. Because I don't know HOW to be any other way. And the way I am causes me more pain and suffering in situations that wouldn't phase others at all. They wouldn't even blink while I'm blinking back tears instead.

So the next time someone tells me I'm being overly sensitive, I sure hope they have the remedy and they're ready to spit it out of their smug-faced mouth.

My sensitivity is partly what makes me such a good friend.

Always there. Whatever you need. And genuinely happy to help.

But I don't wish anyone to walk a day in my personality.

And I wouldn't want to walk a day in yours.





2 comments:

John said...

Yeah, I am too sensitive too. What I learnt as a child though was to keep it to myself, and use it to build up a wall between myself and others. As a result, I now have trust issues and there has never been a person in my whole life who I trusted fully. You can't win, can you? Thanks for sharing.

Maruska Morena said...

I'm a mix of too sensitive and not sensitive enough. I've been accused of both.. a lot.

I do have a ton of trust issues though and agree whole heartedly with John. Self-preservation baby.

Mostly now I try to limit the people around me to those who either get me, or just want to have fun. My family.. while I love them.. I just cannot be around them.

you're like butter to me

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