Losing Weight; Finding Men

"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Mistletoe Effect

I've been experimenting with something I've dubbed The Mistletoe Effect. Pretty much since the moment I purchased the mistletoe on Saturday, I've had some distinctly sweet and warm moments. Some flirty moments with men I've come across and some warm camaraderie moments with women I've come across. Overall, in 2 days during the time I'm out of the house, I've had 4 kisses and 7 comments about being santa's elf, wearing mistletoe, or seeming in the holiday spirit.

All in all, laughter was involved and that is a good thing in my book.

The only bad moment was when my manager told me today that I couldn't "make" anyone kiss me because it would be an HR issue....as if that is what I was trying to do? What was perversely amusing is that it would also be an HR issue to see the amount of alcohol being passed around the department, but I kept my response to myself.

The mistletoe (and my smile) are completely responsible for my being invited to a Christmas Eve party. Nevermind the fact that I was a last minute invite; I'll take it. I was told to bring my santa hat, my mistletoe, and my smile. Done and done.

However, every day I fight the feeling that I'm drowning and that I want to run away. It is one part work, one part loneliness, and one part health. Lurking around me is a darkness that threatens to pull me under at any moment. For example...

  • It isn't a good moment on Saturday when you pull into a parking lot and see your ex-lover's SUV outside the store you were going into which is less than 5 minutes from your house and more than 30 minutes from his new place. And you sit there a safe distance away and watch him come out a few minutes later with so many bottles of alcohol he needs a store clerk to help him and you just know he's having a holiday party that night with his new "I'll never get married again" wife.
  • It isn't a good moment on Sunday when the universe tells you in no uncertain terms that you need to STOP multitasking by sending you on your backside so suddenly that you hear your head smack against the pavement and sprain your wrist and break two veins open in your hand. You lay there looking up at the blue sky wondering what if you can't move, how long would you be there before someone came to find you while your non-lassie dog circles you with the frisbee securely in his mouth. And what was it you were trying to do? Toss the frisbee with one hand while taking a photo of said frisbee moment with the other hand.
  • It isn't a good moment Monday when you randomly come across your ex-lover's 25-year old son at the pizza parlor he used to work at but was no longer supposed to be working at but apparently is once again working at right around the corner from your house and he stares at you like he knows you even though he doesn't and at the stop sign you want to get out of the car and go up to him and simultaneously tell him what an asshole his father is and what a handsome 25-year old he is and how you hope he doesn't use women like his father.
I know there are some good moments out there waiting in the new year....I just might have to move in order to find them.


Ellie said...

Deck the halls with chunks of bastard... la la la la la....

Carolina Girl said...

One of my best friends lives in Atlanta, and her ex of 7.5 years works in the same building, on the SAME FLOOR. And oh yes...so does his new girlfriend. The one that that he started dating IMMEDIATELY after dumping her. It's bad enough when these dbags leave us heartbroken, but then we have to see them again and again? Relive the pain over and over. It's not fair.

Hugs friend...sorry about that spill! That sounds awful.

Graciela said...

Screw your manager (not literally)...no sense of humor.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down so much of the time. I know that dark feeling and it is so hard to crawl out of that hole once you are inside. Do you have someone you can discuss this with (like an Employee Assistance Program) or does your insurance pay for any therapy. I just hate to see you going through life in the dumps. You are such a beautiful person, you deserve to be happy.

MissMelisaMae said...

But what I really want to know is...did you get the frisbee picture you were aiming for? :)

you're like butter to me

Just a Lovable Party Girl

Just a Lovable Party Girl
Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.