Next, Next, Next

Well, I had to tell Dog Advice Guy things last night that he should have already realized, but you know, sometimes we can't see the obvious in our own lives. I had to tell him that 1. there's no way he's emotionally ready for another relationship and 2. there's no way I'm ever getting involved with a "not yet divorced" man. He took it in stride, agreeing with me that at best he's capable of being a casual bang buddy. Of which I had to tell him, I can understand that, but that's not going to happen with me. And still he tried to kiss me. I know, I know, over the weekend I was lamenting that I didn't have exactly that, but this guy's hands are smaller than mine, I think his head fits in the palm of my hand for god's sake. You get the picture. Sex with him would not be worthwhile for me.

But, lest you think I'm unloved... *oh the laughter heard around the country is hilarious*

There's a bodyguard for the Knicks (hmmm, basketball players, not sure I like that scene at all) who speaks very little English who would like to go out with me. He speaks, of course.....Italian! See the tie-in? I'm thinking I could pick up a few words if I date him. Brings new meaning to Rosetta Stone, don't you think?

There's also a painter, residential and industrial not artistic (although I think knowing one's color palette is artistic), but he's "trying to quit smoking." We chat, but until he gets his habit under 10 cigs a day, I don't think I could meet him. I don't think he'd be able to spend an hour with me without smoking. And I can't even bear to think of a kiss with an ashtray. Blech. I told him this, he seems determined, says he's already down from a pack and a half a day. Yikes, how many cigs are in a pack? Well, I was the reason my ex-husband quit smoking, perhaps I can inspire this guy too.

And speaking of inspiration.....tonight is the FIRST spring training game! Hush, don't roll your eyes - there are few things left that entertain me anymore! I know Soxy Deb doesn't even think it is baseball season yet, but with the wonderful creation of MLB Network TV station, members of the Red Sox Nation living outside the NESN zone finally have a means of watching some games without paying extra for it! Tonight's game is on! WOO! Go Sox!

New shirt, new season. Bring it on!

Another Date

No flowers yet. Actually, I'm not sure I deserve them. The money was indeed for a combination of going to the gym and pounds lost, but I failed to meet my goal so I don't know.

I met "thank you for the dog advice" guy last night. At a diner, because when I said I didn't have a preference for where we ate, he said he wanted breakfast. Then we get there and I order a Belgian waffle, which I've craved for more than a week, and he orders a burger. Anyway. I had my carbs I didn't care!

It was much more of a date in his mind than it was in mine. And for good reason I think. He's not yet divorced and separated by several states from his two young boys. He has not even begun to put closure on a very emotional situation in his life. House is still in his name, she's threatening him with legal issues, he's threatening her with legal issues. Blah, blah, blah. That should be enough right? Well, the guy is really nice. And really into me, although I am quite sure just for some fun. But believe it or not, what I'm hung up on about isn't any of that.

I'm disturbed that the guy is like twice the size smaller than I am. And he's into me. I know, there are guys out there who "like a woman with some meat on her bones." Well, I could feed a small army with the meat on my bones and he could hide inside my carcass.

*sigh* He called after we parted last night, with a kiss, by the way, and asked if he could see me again tonight. When I asked him when and what are we doing, he was vague. I'm thinking he's expecting an invitation to my house. I mentioned the weather might be icy tonight and so he suggested we see how things are in the afternoon before making plans. I'm thinking I'll have to tell him tonight about my reservations.

There's no point in settling. But it sure would be nice to have a friend in Jersey, dammit.

Reluctant Counselor

Well, it seems my Harry Pottypants Lookalike friend (I should just call him Harry Potter, no?) likes my brand of straight talking from last week.

He contacted me late last night asking for advice on relationships, in general, lamenting on how people treat other people.

So, one margarita and some wings later, I'm doling out advice on relationships and women. Yeah, me. The one who can't seem to keep a guy. The reluctant counselor. Funny stuff.

And in turn he's commiserating with me about the state of the country and how I wound up in Jersey via a trusting heart. He apologized on "behalf of men everywhere for L's obnoxious behavior."

*snort* Easy for him to say.

No seriously, all in all, it was nice to have a guy to talk to. Particularly as it seems that Edward (or rather my lust for Edward) has left me. More on that unbelievable thought really soon.

Right now what occupies my thoughts most is that as the season has turned, so has the eHarmless potential suitors. It seems more are paying attention to their accounts. Interesting. One man whom I closed out communication with in July because he failed to respond, asked me to reconsider, citing "I think we have the potential for a connection." Indeed. Where you dating someone in July and it just ended or what?

What I really like about the guided process, being a writer, is seeing if the guys choose their own questions or go with the pre-formed questions on the site. Here is a set of interesting questions lately. I'm trying not to be jaded. Really.

1. Describe some personal habits that are important to you.

2. What do you think are the three best traits you have to offer a partner?

3. What are you looking for in a relationship partner?

Is the man hoping the woman bathes, communicates her needs effectively, and prefers simple living over a high-end lifestyle? Ding, ding, ding, tell him what he's won Bob!

I am doing my best to answer these questions honestly, with an open heart and mind. But the reality is, however I choose to answer these questions, if I don't fit into that mold they have in their mind, they're not going to give me a chance.

I'm hoping the right relationship partner wants to stay up all night, watch the sunrise, make love and sleep til noon, then check his stocks for the day, and paint my toenails in the bath while booking reservations at a fine dining establishment. Oh, yes, could he please read me poetry, give massages, play the guitar, and throw the frisbee for the dog?

Right, I didn't think so either.

Happy Birthday Chad

morning weight: xxx lbs
Valentine's Day goal: xxx lbs
In the Reward Jar: $43

This is the last Valentine's Day challenge post. I failed to achieve the goal. T.o.M. arrived and it is kicking my ass. And the blue feelings are lingering hard today, and it isn't just the lousy turn of events of my date this week. One year ago today I had that ridiculous but horrible accident where the front tire came off my truck, my beloved 4Runner that used too much gas but I loved. Anyway, not supposed to be looking back. But yeah.

But....it is Chad's birthday today. He really doesn't look like the 6'1, 95 lb giant he is here.

Happy birthday Chadster! Chadwick, Chadditix, Chadducus! You're 4 years old and you still act like a puppy! Thanks for being such a good caretaker of me, Sena taught you well. Who needs men!?

Right. Right. Still, guys keep asking me to meet. I have to try. With no friends in Jersey, I refuse to turn into a complete hermit. I guess some people might not be able to understand that.

I accepted an invitation to see Slumdog Millionaire with a local in-town guy who says he's just looking for friends and likes movies enough to discuss their award-winning worthiness. Good, I think. No pressure there.

And there's another guy who has been asking me for dog training advice who says he wants to buy me a cup of coffee for helping him out with his puppy. Hmm. On Saturday. Sure, why not. It's just another day to many people. And I'm OK with that.

Baseball season is underway! Well, OK, spring training. But still. I'm loving me some eye candy on the MLB network!

Two Dates; Half Lousy

And finally....I had two dates yesterday. One planned. One spontaneous. Which one do you think went well? Oddly, not the spontaneous one, which is what I would have bet against odds on. Oh well, take a chance on me, right ABBA?

Velvet Voice and...Nothing
Planned 2nd date with Velvet Voice in afternoon. Four solid games of billiard, he beat me fair and square 3 out of 4. But we agreed that I lined up some nice shots for him to clinch the deals. Lots of fun, lots of humor, really chummy. Lunch afterwards, typical, good food. Quite a bit of talk about all the job possibilities he has in the hopper. This guy does not like to be idle. Positive. Especially since I am so sloth-like. Haha. Good conversation about each other's families, growing up, and 4th of July plans (mine: hiding under the covers with the dogs; his: several picnics). He did ask me a few questions which was great, indicating that yes, indeed he can shut up about himself and listen. He had suggested "grabbing sandwiches and watching a movie back at my place," but the reality was that he didn't have enough time as he had to go watch his niece and nephew for the evening. I did not like that he invited himself over, but I let it pass as it seemed harmless and I'm trying not to be such a bitch. Really I am. He offered some kisses but he was overly concerned with food between his teeth and did not want to kiss overly much. Alrighty.

The End of Classy Guy
Spontaneous date with Classy Guy. Not. He needs a new name. International Asshole maybe. Sigh. I was already planning a solo movie trip to see The Proposal or The Hangover at 10 pm. Like a radar or something, he texted at 9 pm and said "Want to see a movie?" so I said "Sure...." He didn't care what he said, he just wanted to get out of his room at the Marriott. So, I don't even know where to begin. Again, it was the little things. He has GPS and he's insisted he never needs directions (which I was fully prepared to give) even though he's new to Jersey. Then he can't find the theater for 20 minutes, and he's driving around asking ME "Where am I...." and I'm playing Where's Asshole by asking "What are you seeing as you drive by...." But, I joyfully brush off this frustration, because he's SO mad when he shows up, I know that I can only just smile and let it go. So, we missed The Hangover start by about 15 minutes but The Proposal was just getting started so that was that decision.

Sitting up close because that's all that was left, I'm sure that Sandra's nostril was the size of my head. Then I learn that the man has absolutely NO movie theater etiquette. Where the hell was he living all his life that he could just talk out loud at me and at the screen? What is that about? I had to shush him several times. But the movie got him laughing a lot and he seemed to really relax. OK good. I settled in and enjoyed the movie as much as one can enjoy a movie where you know exactly what's going to happen and you're staring at the body of an actress who is in her late 40s (?) and looks like she could be 21. Lovely. Nice nude shots Sandra, more power to you, seriously. The cutest thing was the dog, but that's me. At one point, he actually turned to me and said "I thought they were only there for a weekend, it has been two nights already." *blink* Sooooo....12:30 we get out and surprise, he is hungry. Starving actually, hasn't eaten dinner etc etc. I'm debating, should I just go home, I wasn't planning to eat because my lunch was late with Velvet Voice. We try Friday's - only the kitchen is closed, bar is left open (oddness). We end up at a diner. Here's where it gets interesting.

Right away, he sees the manager and he starts talking to him in Arabic. Asking him where he's from, etc. Don't ask me how I know, I just know. It is a thing with me. Some words I can just know, some words don't get translated etc, etc. Then the International Asshole of Mystery refuses to tell him anything about himself, his last name or anything. Flat out refuses. The manager looks at me and asks me where he's from. I shrug and say "Last week it was Morroco..." The manager tells the waitress to serve me, but the guy can't eat anything. We all laugh and silently I wonder if the food is going to arrive clean. So I order some grilled shrimp. He orders a chicken eggplant sandwich. They both arrive with french fries, even though mine was supposed to be rice. Holy hell, I can't resist. It is like better than winning Megamillions to my carb-starved cells. I'm on top of those fries and silently loving them like there's no tomorrow. He's grooving on his sandwich, pouring way too much ketchup on his fries, and I'm at peace for a moment. Then he gets up, sits next to me on my side of the booth (something I normally find very romantic), and asks me to explain baseball to him.

So I use the rebroadcast of the Yankee game that is playing on the TV. He proceeds to argue with me about how I am not explaining the game correctly to him, while admitting to me that he knows nothing about the game. I'm beginning to grow frustrated. In the middle of this, he glances at my plates and says (you knew this was coming didn't you?): "You know I've noticed something about you....you don't really eat healthy...." *blink* What is wrong with grilled (not fried) shrimp - maybe a little high in cholesterol? So clearly he meant the fries. The last meal we had was Mediterranean - grilled lamb, vegetables, salad, and we split a piece of baklava - at his insistence actually.

This comment of his sits on top of Mr CNA's comments, Mr Listener's comments, and every other comment anyone has ever made about my body or my eating habits. I think this wounded me because hell, I had TRIED my best, and not ordered like 7 other far worse things I wanted on the menu to begin with. I don't know if I handled it correctly or not, but I can only be myself. And I just looked at him and told him quite calmly, "I think that is a rude thing to say as someone is trying to enjoy their meal." He laughs at me, doesn't get up, and says "I was just making an observation." So I got more upset at this point, "You're an ass, please go sit on the other side of the table, I don't want to sit next to you right now." And he doesn't budge. Totally being manipulative and childlike.

So I guess I got down to his level, and I said, "OK well I have an observation too...you treat people rudely. We came in here and you immediately began speaking in Arabic to the manager and you asked him where he was from and he told you. But when he asked you where you were from, you just played a game with him for your amusement. I don't think that's very nice. You should treat other people as you would like to be treated."

We finish our food, and I try to pay for my part of the meal, because I want him to know I do not consider this a date. He refuses, and the waitress takes his money even though I have mine in my hand for her. He tells me he isn't going to leave the waitress a good tip because she didn't come to check on us. I said I didn't blame her as he had acted like a nutcase with the manager. So I put down some more money on the table.

Then we're in the parking lot and he informs me, not asks, that he will have to sleep on my couch tonight because his gas light is on and there are no stations open.

I said absolutely not, he could sleep in his truck. But I didn't like that idea either, and felt bad for him and thought of my own advice of treating others as I would want to be treated. So we went home and got the gas from my garage for the lawnmower and came back to the parking lot and he poured it into his truck.

Then he tried to tell me that he could just sleep on my couch. And I told him with all seriousness that I didn't have a couch. He looked stunned. What, he doesn't have a last name; I don't have a couch. And we parted ways. And he's called me 3 times since last night, one was to tell me that he deleted my number from his phone because I'm a strange unkind woman.

Honestly. Why do I bother? Oh yes. Because I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.

Right.

*rolling eyes*