Losing Weight; Finding Men: 60 Minutes on the Treadmill

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

60 Minutes on the Treadmill

My 60 minute mental breakdown on the treadmill:

minutes 1-10:
What am I doing here again? Oh yeah, right, let's get going.

minutes 10-20:
OK so here we are. La de f'in da. Is he looking at me? Did I wear the shirt with the hole in the armpit again? Damn, when am I going to remember to sew that? Ah well, air conditioning.

minutes 20-30:
Oh my god, I'm going to die, I can't take another step. Are my calves freezing up. I cannot have shin splints, I cannot! Maybe I should stop and stretch. No keep going.

minutes 30-40:
See, you paranoid freak. You're fine. You're in the zone now. Feels good. Sweat is gushing from everywhere. Good stuff.

minutes 40-50:
OK I've had enough, can I go home now?

minutes 50-60:
If I see this commercial one more time, I'm going to scream. Why do the minutes tick by slower when I watch the readout?

And about that fabulous new ab machine they've got on rental for people to try out?

FORGET ABOUT IT!

Clearly designed with men in mind, it is a "game" of "grab and toss" with weighted balls, while you're laying down. Um....yeah. No?! I'm thinking N O. Maybe fun for some folks, but not for me. Not even going to attempt it. First of all, not going to lie down. Feel way too vulnerable. Secondly, not going to throw weighted balls the size of small basketballs between 7 and 20 lbs. With my luck I will pull something.

Here's a visual...

I'll stick to the regular ab machine, please. *gasp* I hope to god they don't get rid of it!

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Just a Lovable Party Girl

Sagittarius is born to travel the world and move upwards and outwards. Naturally gregarious, they love the idea of meeting different people and understanding foreign cultures. There is also a desire to broaden the mind too, with the possibility of many Sagittarians being lifelong students. Their outlook is generally optimistic and there is a distinct lack of concern over the smaller, practical details. A great sense of humor and a lack of petty mindedness are Sagittarian qualities too. Sagittarius is open -- open-minded, open-hearted and generous, up to a point. They like to get value and will not be quite so impulsive with their cash but they do have a natural ability to get on with people from many varied walks of life. They have an innate sense of wanting to help others and give them a hand up the ladder and can be wonderful and exciting companions. Expect an honest answer when you ask a question and maybe some long philosophic discussions into the night. Jovial, optimistic, versatile, open-minded, philosophical, sincere, frank, visionary.