This is a PSA folks...
(Pssst, I don't think this qualifies as a TMI post for LiLu, who is a really kickass fun former-Masshole blogger. I just can't match those gross-out levels she and her pals achieve! I'm not worthy! But if you enjoy some grossed out things, check out her TMI Thursday posts. You will laugh and be horrified.)
At 3 AM on Wednesday morning, I had a Jimi Hendrix experience. Sadly, I'm not talking about a drug-induced trippy fun hallucination. I'm talking about puking in my sleep, on my back, and thinking I was going to die by method of choking.
Putting aside the fact that I haven't thrown up in.....YEARS....I've come close but not actual....
This was the most frightening experience I've had in a while.
And then I proceeded to hurl for several hours. To the point where my throat burned like the worst hot sauce in the world had been poured down it for days. And then the rest of my body decided to participate in the festivities until I didn't know which part of my body to put on the toilet. I was half-anticipating blood to start coming out my eyes.
Oh yeah, fun times.
So there I am thinking.....WTF, am I going to die of swine flu two days before my cousin's wedding?
Took my temperature. Normal. Normal. Normal.
How is that possible? I just emptied my entire body of all fluids imaginable.
But no, no fever. And no fever, means no infection, thus no swine flu.
So I laid there in bed as no less than 5 different people tried to communicate with me via 5 different media methods. Crackberry in one hand, laptop on the pillow, I tried to just be motionless as much as possible for as long as possible. And oh I do so <3 technology because my Flittering Mr Italia can virtually send me cups of cammy tea with honey, as I wondered what in the hell was wrong with me in all my pasty dry mouth knotty snotty glory.
Was it that I just hated work so much that I made myself sick? Possibly, but spontaneous puking out of a dead sleep did not seem to be my brand of neurotic-based acts.
It wasn't until later when I boldly ventured into the kitchen for a cup of weak tea that I even thought about what I'd eaten. Everything I ate, I'd cooked myself. For days.
I happened to see the jar of minced garlic.
The mega huge 32-ounce jar of minced garlic.
The mega huge 32-ounce jar of minced garlic that I've had for.....ever. Years? Hmmm.
I love garlic, I've used 3/4th of that jar I'm proud to say.
And yes, I have had garlic for the past 3 days as a garnish in my plain yogurt as a sauce for my chicken. And yes, it has been some time since I used it before this week, and I had always sauteed it into things, not used it raw.
I glanced closer at the jar. Expiration date: April.
Check your condiments people. Do it today.
You'll thank me. Trust.
Losing Weight; Finding Men
"Never make someone a priority in your life when you are just their option."