Self Recognition

morning weight: xx lbs
Valentine's Day goal: xxx lbs
In the Reward Jar: $37

In the last 12 days, I've allegedly (in case the machine rates are inaccurate):

• walked 13.2 miles on the treadmill
• burned 2761 calories on the treadmill
• spent 270.59 minutes (or 4.5 straight days) on the treadmill

This doesn't account for the weights.

In the last 30 days, I've lost (according to my constantly calibrated scale) 8 lbs. I should be damn proud of that. I still have a week to lose another 2 lbs before Valentine's Day, but if it doesn't happen, I still know I've struggled every single day to give my best. No excuses, just facing my own challenges head on. Knowing there will be stumbles and just getting back up to keep going. I like the way the loss looks on the Daily Plate graph:

I caught part of the Biggest Losers show and I felt for those contestants who had to work at home for 30 days. One woman cried because she'd "only" lost 12 lbs on her own in 30 days. Holy crap woman, get a grip on reality! Turns out she was the 2nd or 3rd who'd lost the most on their own. I really really hate that show. I know it motivates most people but it demotivates me. I went through my gym workout wishing I had all day and night to dedicate myself. I do not nor will I ever have that ability to dedicate that much time to losing weight. Yet my efforts are no less dramatic. And then there's the whole factor of people struggling to lose weight for the entertainment of the masses. Sorry but that's disgusting. Need to relive any painful memories of struggling through gym classes in elementary or junior high school to the laughter and amusement of those around me? Um no thanks. If you make a reality show, people will watch it.

Before I turned the channel, at least I heard the trainers' acknowledge two things that have always frustrated me: 1. The volume weight lost per week at the ranch is not typical nor to be expected of someone working on their own while having a life other than training 24/7, and 2. Saying you've built muscle even if you haven't lost pounds is a bullshit line that trainers often feed their clients.

There should be no shame in "only" losing 8 lbs in 30 days. No shame at all. I should be celebrating.

So why do I feel I've not accomplished enough? Very frustrating feeling. I am making progress. I need to remind myself of this. Can someone hit me over the head please? Thank you.